


Catch Me I'm Falling For You

by prettykidinyellow



Series: EXO Riding Club [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Playboy Suho, Romance, Sassy Chen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettykidinyellow/pseuds/prettykidinyellow
Summary: Jongdae thinks highly of himself. He could get all the attention he wanted – when he needed it, where he needed it. It is what he is used to.Until one guy shatters the way how his world rotates. His name is Junmyeon – the guy that he suddenly kissed and after that, he just left and didn’t ask him any questions. He got curious about him. Until one day, he realized he wasn’t just curious about him.“I’d like to be your friend.” Junmyeon told him. “If it’s okay with you.”Of course it was not okay. Because he had fallen in love with him!





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted on AFF: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/970030/catch-me-i-m-falling-for-you-comedy-romance-exo-chen-suho-suchen-jundae

            Jongdae feels like he’s the king of the world while walking towards the wide hallway of Kim Builders, one their family’s architecture firm. All of their employees are looking at him like he’s some sort of a runway model.

            He’s been in the US for five years now because he took his master’s degree in architecture and he’s also working there. And he missed his brothers so much.

            Jongdae smiled when he remembered his brothers. Heechul and Ryeowook.

            He didn’t bother to knock at his brothers’ office door. He barged in and he saw Heechul arguing with a woman.

            “Heechul don’t do this, don’t make me hate you.”

            “I don’t want to hurt you. But–”

            “Hyung! Your girlfriend called me. She said she wants to meet you.” Jongdae turned to the woman. “Hi! Are you Heechul hyung’s girlfriend?”

            “I hate you, Heechul!” The woman shrieked and walked away.

            “Oh, she got mad!” Jongdae said. “It was just a joke, anyway.”

            “What are you doing here, Chen-chen?”

            Jongdae shook his head. Until now, his brothers love calling him by his nickname when they were still kids. But he doesn’t mind at all. He thinks of it as their endearment to him.

            “Why are you here in Korea?”

            “I gave Uncle Sam a break. You won’t follow your girlfriend?”

            “She’s not my girlfriend anymore, thanks to you.” But he smiled at him anyway. “Welcome home, bro.”

           

\-----------------------------

 

            “How are Mommy and Daddy? Are they still not yet done touring around the world?”

            “I think so. We’re rich so our parents are just touring around the world.” Jongdae sat on the visitor’s chair of his Heechul hyung’s office. “The last time I talked to them, they are in Vienna. I told them to not forget bring home a Vienna sausage for us.”

            “Is that a joke?” Heechul’s face is priceless. “Did you get your corny jokes to the Americans? If that’s the case, then get out of my sight, Chen-chen.”

            “How about this? This is not corny.” Jongdae smoothened down his collar before he talked. “I’ll stay here in Korea for good. Because Mom said that you and Ryeowook hyung need to marry someone. She said that she and Dad want to have grandchildren. And for that to happen, I’m taking over this company.”

            Heechul was not rattled a bit. “Really.” He handed Jongdae a paper. “Fax this.”

            “Ah, no, hyung. I only deal with blueprints, pencils and anything that concerns me.”

            “I thought so.”

            The door opened and his other hyung entered. His eyebrows are furrowed. Jongdae smiled. “Hello, Ryeowook hyung.”

            “Who are you?”         

            Instead of answering him, Jongdae just stood up and hugged his hyung. “It’s good to see you again, Ryeowook hyung. I missed you so much!”

            Ryeowook sat at the edge of the table. “What are you doing here in Korea?”

            “He’s taking over our company.” Heechul answered. “So that we can get marry and give Mommy her grandchildren.”

            “Really.” Ryeowook took the same paper that Heechul gave to him before. “Fax this.”

            Jongdae just smiled instead of answering back. He knew that they were just teasing him because they knew that he didn’t like any office machineries. So obviously, none of them are taking his threats seriously. _Oh, well_. He went near his hyungs and slung his arms around their shoulder.

            “Buy me some food. I’m hungry.”

            “You went back home just to ask us to buy you food?”

            “There’s no one that’s been buying you food in the US?” His hyungs just looked at each other and they both answered. “You have a huge appetite.”

            “Okay! Let’s go!”

            His arms are still around his brothers when they walked towards the elevator. This was what he liked about his brothers. They are always agreeing on what he likes, whether it’s good or bad. Especially in his mischief.

            “Do you not have any plans on settling down, Heechul hyung? You’re how old now? Forty?”

            “Thirty-one.”

            “So I rounded up. Nevertheless, you’re old. You should settle down, hyung, instead of making women cry.”

            “I’m still enjoying being a bachelor.” They already entered the elevator. “Don’t meddle with me or I’ll kick you back to mom’s womb.”

            “All the way from Vienna.” His Ryeowook hyung said and laughed.

            “What will I do here in Korea? Mom will be mad if I didn’t get to do her orders.”

            “Just mind your own love life, will you?”

            “Yeah right. Me and my nonexistent love life.”

            His hyungs became silent. For about three seconds.

            “Chen-chen, you want to come with us to the Exo Riding Club?” Ryeowook said.

            “There’s so many beasts there.” Heechul said.

            “Ah.” He said nonchalantly.

            “Beastly handsome guys.” His Heechul hyung smirked.

            “Aaahhh.” Jongdae’s eyes shone with interest. “Now, you’re talking.”

 

\-----------------------------

 

            “Baekhyun? Byun Baekhyun?”

            The man that he called turned to him. He was confused for a moment but eventually, recognition was evident in his eyes. “Kim Jongdae?”

            “It’s me!” Baekhyun was his high school buddy. “You look so good! How many boyfriends did you have?”

            “Five hundred.” Both of them chuckled. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

            “I just came back from the US.” He said. “How about you what are you doing here?”

            “I’m here with my cousin.” Baekhyun said. “He brings me here to search for my destiny.”

            Jongdae chuckled.  “And who’s that lucky man?”

            “It’s a secret.” Baekhyun stood up. “I need to go, Jongdae. It was nice seeing you again.”

            “Yeah, me too.”

            “So, I’ll just see you around?”

            “Okay.” And Baekhyun left.

            “Let’s go, Chen-chen.” Ryeowook said.

            “Come on, hyung. Could you please refrain on calling me that?”

            “Why Chen-chen?” His Heechul hyung asked.

            He glared at his hyung.

            “Looks like there’s something going on.” Heechul said.

            “I guess you’re right.” Ryeowook said.

            “It looks like there’s so many things going on in this club, hyung. I want to join.” Jongdae smiled at his hyungs.

            His brothers gave him a blow-by-blow account of the things that had been happening inside the exclusive club, emphasizing the chaotic romance of the club members and their lovers.

            “Kyungsoo and Kai is in the messiest situation as of this moment.” Ryeowook said.

            “You can start with them if you want to mess up a life.” Heechul smirked.


	2. Chapter 2

             Jongdae has his eyebrows furrowed while they are walking towards the clubhouse lobby of the grand Exo Riding Club. Since they came there, all of the guests are looking at him.

            “It looks like they are not happy to see me.” Jongdae said.

            “Even I would have the same reaction.” Heechul said. Jongdae pinched his side.

            “Maybe they are just wondering why we have our pet cat trailing beside us.” His Ryeowook hyung gasped when he also pinched him.     

            Jongdae’s eyebrow rises whenever they came across a club member. He’s also looking at other direction because of the interesting things that he is seeing. Or rather, interesting people.

            “Why are there so many handsome here?”

            “Because we showered them with our handsomeness.”

            Jongdae ignored his brother’s lame joke. “All of the club members are handsome?”

            “No. We’re the only one that’s handsome.”

            Instead of listening to his hyungs, he just busied himself watching the handsome guys. Everywhere he looked, he is always seeing a uniformed club member. His hyungs also told him who are the members and who are just the gueats.

            Jongdae pulled his brothers to a café bar that they came across.

            “I thought your giant worms in your stomach are hungry?” His Heechul hyung asked. “Why did you bring us here?”

            “I want to have a coffee, hyung.”

            “Hyung.” His Ryeowook hyung said. “Look who’s with Junmyeon.”

            He got curious on whose Ryeowook is talking about. He saw a man with a very sad expression on his handsome face and another man with smiling eyes at the table inside the café.

            “I wonder what Kyungsoo is doing here. Kai is still disabled right now, right?”

            “Kyungsoo?” Jongdae piped in. He remembered what his hyungs told him a while ago about the messy love life of the members of this club. “And that’s Jongin? He’s handsome.”      

            “That’s Junmyeon.” Ryeowook corrected. “He’s the man that Kai is really jealous with.”

            “All right! Let’s go.”

            While they are on their way towards the table, Jongdae can’t keep his eyes off the guy that Kyungsoo is talking to. Especially when they are just a few meters away from them. The guy’s handsomeness is really emphasized with the riding club’s uniform that he is wearing. He looked like some sort of a feudal lord or something. There are also other members that are as handsome as that guy. Or maybe more handsome. But there was just something in him that made him stand out. Maybe because he reminded him of his brothers.

            _I don’t think so. But there’s really something different about him. Period._

            “Problem?” Heechul asked.

            He looked at Junmyeon’s face when Kyungsoo glanced at them. _Hmm, yeah. He is handsome all right. And those smiling eyes, really cute._

            “That man’s one hell of a pain in everyone’s butt here.”

            Jongdae easily understood the problem of Kyungsoo and Kai so he intervened. Because he doesn’t like how Junmyeon is frowning. It doesn’t suit him. Although, that doesn’t lessen his fascination to him. Still, Jongdae didn’t want to see Junmyeon having problems. Weird.

            “Is that a problem?” He said. “Just make him confess. That’s so easy.”

            Jongdae wanted to smile when Junmyeon looked at him. “It’s not that easy.”

            “You know,” He to Junmyeon, speaking with his most gentle voice. “When someone falls in love, it’s so easy to make them jealous. Just get someone that can be his rival, let’s see if he will not suddenly confess.”

            “I hate to admit this.”His Heechul hyung said. “But I think Jongdae’s right.”

            “Of course I am.”

            “Jongdae?” Junmyeon asked.

            “Our brother.” Ryeowook said.

            “That’s me.”

            “Ryeowook, I think we still need to do something.”

            “You’re right, Heechul. Let’s go.”

            “Wait, let me call the others.”

            “Hyung, were are you going?”

            “Somewhere.” His Ryeowook hyung is pulling him away because his Heechul hyung is talking to someone in the phone.

            Jongdae wanted to stay. But, he will look like an idiot in front of other people, especially Junmyeon that has been looking at him. Maybe he realized his moves to make Junmyeon notice him.

            “Let me go with you, then.” But Jongdae stopped in his tracks when he saw the newcomers at that café bar. His day couldn’t get any better as he watched the men walk past him and go straight towards Kyungsoo and Junmyeon’s table.

            _Well, will you look at that. These handsome men are gathered here, right now. And I want to be surrounded by them._ He just looked at them while they are busy discussing Kai and Kyungsoo’s problem. Even his brothers were in the crowd, who called all of these guys to come here.

            “Kai loves you too.” Junmyeon remarked. “You know why? Because you’re the only one that he refused to be with.”

            “Should I be happy for that?”

            “Yes.” Taemin piped in. “It means he treasures you. Because in case he accepted your love, I’m sure you’ll be like the persons who just passed through his life.”

            “We know Kai.” His Heechul hyung said. “He’s degrading himself because of his history with his lovers. He believes that he doesn’t deserve to love someone or to be loved by someone.”

            “And who the hell is he to say that?”

            “Maybe he just doesn’t want to hurt you because he loves you. So he thinks it’s better to push you away before he hurts you.”

            While Jongdae is listening to their discussion, he can’t help but to get dizzy because of the real intention of their discussion. But he noticed that Junmyeon keeps looking at his direction even if he is behind these tall guys in front of him. And everytime he does that, he wants to glare at Junmyeon. But he really loved his smiling eyes. So he opted to like him instead.

            Kyungsoo cried again. “He’s an idiot!”

            “Ah, excuse me. Can I just say something?” He said. He can’t really take it when an angel like Kyungsoo is crying. “What do you want to do? Who do you want to help?”

            “Kyungsoo…” The guys all answered in unison.

            “So why are you defending that monster who made this man cry?”

            “We were just explaining to him Kai’s side.”

            “I’m right. You are defending that monster. My goodness, make up your minds, boys. If you want to help Kyungsoo, you need to make your move already. Now, if you’re on Mai–”

            “Kai.” Junmyeon corrected him.

            “Kai. Sorry. If you’re on Kai’s side, then you’re all useless.” Jongdae come close to him. “Guys like us should be treasured and not be given headaches, right?” Junmyeon nodded.“So whoever that Kai is, he’s crazy. He made this handsome guy cry? Can all of you allow someone as handsome as us cry?”

            “Don’t go, Kyungsoo.”

            He looked at the newcomer. A guy with a visible bandage on his head with drawings and letters was looking straight at Kyungsoo.

            “And you are…?” Jongdae asked.

            “Kim Jongin.” Kai answered. “The only man in Kyungsoo’s life.”

            “You’re Kai?” He faced Kai, while the other guys are jus looking at them. “You know, you’re so stupid. There’s someone that really loves you. Here. He’s handsome like me, he’s nice like me, and he’ll go to any length just to have you. He even planned on asking these gorgeous guys to help him get you. It’s not really my style but I think it’s the greatest thing a man would ever do for his love. Where can you find that kind of man? You’re handsome yet you’re stupid. Why are you making him suffer like that? While it’s obvious that you love him, based on what these handsome guys have been saying. So, if I were you, I’d stop being a jerk and start sweeping him off his feet.” He reached out for Kyungsoo’s cup of coffee and drank it. “Whew! It’s so difficult to give lesson to kids.”

            “You’re good.” Junmyeon said to him. “Can I invite you to dinner?”

            “How about lunch? I’m hungry.”

            “Sure.”

            They walked out of the café together. Jongdae doesn’t know how he easily come along with Junmyeon when he is the type of person who doesn’t easily trust a person that he doesn’t really know. He looked at Junmyeon as they walked side by side. Junmyeon noticed it so he looked at Jongdae. And when junmyeon smiled at him, he knew he could trust him. He didn’t know how or why, he just knew he could.

            Junmyeon stopped walking. “We’re not yet formally introduced to each other.”

            “Huh?”

            “I’m Kim Junmyeon.” Junmyeon extended his hand in front of him.          

            _What a gentleman_. He accepted Junmyeon’s hand. “Kim Jongdae.”

            “Nice to meet you, Jongdae.” Junmyeon smiled at him.

            “Hmm.” Jongdae noticed their hands were still clasped. “You like my hand?”

            “Huh?” Junmyeon looked at their hands and he lot go of his hand. “Sorry.”

            “It’s okay. I really have that effect on people who just met me.”

            “What is it?”

            “Shocked.”

            “Shocked?”

            “They can’t believe they met someone as handsome as me.”

            Junmyeon grinned. “You’re right.”

            Jongdae can’t help but smile. “You really like flattering someone, right? How many did you seduce with those sweet words of yours?”

            “I’m not seducing someone. When I like someone, I always tell the truth.”

            “And what does that mean?” He felt a fluttering feeling inside his chest. “That you like me?”      

            He almost choked with what he heard. Junmyeon liked him! His heart starts beating wildly. He’s used with the notorious guys in the US. But it’s the first time that he met someone and he doesn’t know how to react to his confession.

            Junmyeon touched his arm. A friendly touch. _Friendly?_

            “You’re smart and funny. You’re easy to be with and I like that.”  

            “And so?”

            “I’d like to be your friend. If it’s okay with you.”

            “No.”


	3. Chapter 3

            “No?”

            “No.” Jongdae repeated his answer. He doesn’t know why but he felt a slight irritation when Junmyeon offered him his friendship. “I’m the only one that’s allowed to choose who I want to be a friend. I don’t really know you that much so I don’t want you to be my friend.”

            Shock was evident on Junmyeon’s facw. But it was just for a while because the smile in his eyes returned.

            “I’m not qualified to be your friend then? So, what are your qualifications?”

            “It’s simple. Even if you are a terrorist, if I want you to be my friend then I’ll make you my friend.

            “So it depends on the great Jongdae, huh?”

            “Don’t call me that.” Jongdae stilled for a second when Junmyeon smiled. His eyes were now shining with mystery. Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows. “Will you still take me out for lunch? If not, just say so. I don’t want to waste time. Anyway, it’s alright if you back out.”

            “I never backed out on my words.” Junmyeon stretched his arm to the pathway. “After you.”

            Jongdae stepped aside. “No, after you. I didn’t know this place so you better lead the way. Maybe we’ll end up to a cliff if I lead the way.”

            Junmyeon grinned. Oh, he was handsome, all right. “Point taken. Shall we?”

            “Sure.”

            They are both silent until they arrived at a restaurant that wasn’t that far from the café where they came from. And like the café bar, there are only few customers at the restaurant. Cozy but sophisticated was still visible in every corner. The place really suits him.

            A beautiful woman approached them. “What’s up, Junmyeon? You didn’t participate at the riot at the Lakeside Café?”

            “We just went there, Jess. In fact, we’re already finished with our business there that’s why we are here. By the way, this is Kim Jongdae. Jongdae, this is Jessica Lee, Donghae’s wife and the manager of this restaurant.”

            Jongdae smiled. “It’s nice to meet you Jess. What food can you recommend?”

            “Everything.” She gave them the menu. “You can choose there. By the way, Junmyeon, Hyeyoung passed by here earlier. She’s looking for you. You two have an appointment?”

            Junmyeon scratched his head. “I almost forgot about that.”

            Jess clucked her tongue. “Just slow down with your dates, Junmyeon. Maybe you’ll cause some chaos here.”

            “I am a peace lover, don’t worry.” Junmyeon turned to him. Apology was all over his handsome face. “I’m sorry about this, Jongdae. But I have to go. I forgot that I have an appointment before I asked you to eat lunch with me. But don’t worry, Jess will charge everything to my account. Just enjoy your food.”

            “You’re leaving?”

            “Sort of.”

            Jongdae wants to smack Junmyeon with the menu. No one has ignored him like that. And he’s really insulted. He just doesn’t show it because he doesn’t want them to pity him.

            “Go ahead and leave. I won’t mind.”

            “`You sure?”

            “Yeah.”

            Junmyeon is a bit skeptical to his answer so he stared at him for a few seconds. When he’s contented, he said goodbye to him.

            “Okay then, I’ll leave now. Jess, please take care of Jongdae.”

            “Okay. Take care. That Hyeyoung girl is like a barracuda. Maybe you’ll get forced married in no time.”

            Junmyeon just laughed. Jongdae’s still pissed at him while Junmyeon is walking towards the exit of the restaurant. _I hope you trip or something_.

            “I apologize for Junmyeon, Jongdae. He’s really like that. He can’t break his promises.”

            “He just can’t say no to something.” Jongdae sighed.

            Jess and him both looked at the entrance where Junmyeon met a girl with a hug before he can even leave the restaurant. Jongdae’s eyebrow rised.

            _How dare that man show up with his woman here? He just stood me up! That ill-mannered pig!_

            “Junmyeon’s in trouble for sure.” Jongdae heard Jess said. “For sure Daeryeong Lee’s daughter won’t let him go.”

            “Daeryeong?”

            “Daeryeong Lee is a pioneer member of this club. But he’s not that much active in the activities here.” Jess nodded to Junmyeon’s direction. “But his daughter is.”

            “My godfather Mingoo is the minister of national defense. Will the club kick that woman out if her father is demoted from his rank?”

            “I don’t know. But I’d like that woman out of this club as well.” Jongdae and Jess looked at each other. Her grin is wide. “You want to try it?”

            “You don’t like her too?”

            “Yeah that girl’s mad. And she’s so arrogant. My staffs here are always complaining about her because she’s so ill-mannered.”

            “If that’s the case, why is Junmyeon always sticking to her?”

            “I don’t understand too. Junmyeon is sane, right?”  

            Jongdae frowned when the woman’s arms snaked around Junmyeon’s waist. “Maybe because he likes crazy women.”

            “That’s not his girlfriend.”

            “That’s not what I’m seeing. What did Junmyeon see in her? She’s not even pretty.”

            Jongdae must have said it out loud because the two looked at his direction. The woman’s eyebrows furrowed. But he doesn’t care. Jondgdae just raised his eyebrow and looked at Jess.

            “What’s your most expensive food here? I want the best of everything for me. By the way, this is charged to Junmyeon, right? He won’t mind giving me the best.” He looked at the two. “You don’t mind, do you, Junmyeon? In the first place, you offered it to me.”

            “Excuse me.” The woman said. “Do I know you?”

            “I’m not talking to you.” Jongdae sighed and shook his head gently. “The world is full of idiots.”

            He saw that the woman wants to say something. And he’s sure that the woman wants to lunge at him. But he didn’t bother to protect himself because Junmyeon stops the woman from coming near him.

            “You’re taking side with him?”

            “No I’m not–”

            “I hate you! Just go with him!” Then the woman marched away.

            Junmyeon turned to him and sighed. Jess excused herself when he walked back to her table.

            “Follow your girlfriend.” Jongdae said while his eyes are still fixed on the menu. “She might bring herself to the stable to be kicked by the horses.”

            “You’re getting pricked by your conscience?”

            “Why? It’s not my fault if that woman chooses to be stupid. Because if I were her, I’ll just jump off a cliff rather than get myself kicked by the horses.” Jongdae looked at Junmyeon over the menu when he sat on the chair in front of him. “Yes?”

            “So now you’ll have to bear with me.”

            “Bear with you? What are you, a road that’s under construction?” Jongdae pulled the menu away. “I don’t want someone with me while I’m eating. Especially someone who just throws away their date.”

            Junmyeon just looked at him silently. Jongdae doesn’t like the feeling that he gets while Junmyeon is staring at him. It looks like he’s looking through him and he doesn’t like that. He’s ready to scold Junmyeon when he stood up.

            “Enjoy your meal, Jongdae.”

            Jongdae just looked at Junmyeon when he left the restaurant. What happened? Did he do something wrong? But he didn’t do anything wrong. But why is he beaten by his conscience?

            “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Jongdae whispered to himself.

            “Jongdae.” Jess said when she approached him. “Why did Junmyeon left?”

            “I don’t know.”

            “You asked him to leave?”

            Jongdae’s lips quivered. That must be it. He told Junmyeon to leave while he’s the one that’s paying for his meal. That’s not a nice thing to do.

            But why is there something bothering his conscience? _I really hate this. What I did is not that awful._

            “Jess.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Could you wrap my orders, please?”

            “Okay.”

            “And do you know where Junmyeon’s house is?”

 

\-----------------------------

 

            “Chen-chen, where are you going?”

            Jongdae faced his Heechul hyung. “Somewhere.”

            “You shouldn’t wander around without having someone with you. You might get lost. You’re always in a daze.” Heechul noticed the paper bag that he is carrying. “I thought you’re having lunch with Junmyeon?”         

            Sometimes, he wants to be annoyed with how his brothers are so observant. “Kyungsoo and Kai are okay now?”

            “Yes.”

            Heechul still looks at him skeptically. “What?”

            His brother just shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing. I haven’t had my lunch yet. Let’s go grab something to eat.”

            “Ah, you just go ahead, hyung.” Jongdae raised the paper bag that contains the food that he asked Jess to wrap. “I brought some food. Junmyeon buys it for me–”

            Heechul just grabbed it from him. “This looks delicious. This is the first time I'll be eating free food.”

            “Hyung, give it back to me!”

            “Being a glutton is bad, Jongdae.”

            “I’ll give it to Junmyeon.”

            “Thank you.”

            His hyung and him both looked at the person who just talked. Junmyeon was standing behind his Heechul hyung and was now holding the paper bag.

            “I didn’t know you are worrying about me, Jongdae.”

            “I’m not worrying about you.” Jongdae approached Junmyeon to get the paper bag. But Junmyeon pulled it away from him. “Excuse me. That’s mine.”

            “I thought this is for me? Well, this is mine now.”

            “Not until I say so.”

            “You just said it.” He looked at his Heechul hyung. “Right, Heechul?”

            His brother just shrugged his shoulders. Junmyeon looked at him. “Thanks for this.”

            That’s it and Junmyeon walked away from them, with him carrying the paper bag with the food. Jongdae stared at him with his hand on his hip. That’s it? Junmyeon doesn’t even asked him to join him eat the food? Jongdae looked at his hyung. His brother is just looking at Junmyeon and it seems like he’s thinking about something.

            “Hyung, stop him.”    

            “Hmm? Why?”

            “He took my food.”

            “You said it’s really for him, right?”

            “That’s not just for him. I want to eat too because I didn’t have my lunch yet.”

            “And you want to eat with him,” Jongdae didn’t say anything. Good thing his hyung didn’t comment about it. “Get it yourself from him then.”

            “You won’t even help me?”

            “You can do it. Anyway, it’s just Junmyeon. Just kiss him and you can get all you want from him.”

            He looked at Heechul with doubt. “Did you already make that move on him that’s why you know it?” His hyung flicked his finger on his forehead. “Ouch!”

            “Don’t make an issue.” His hyung pushed him towards Junmyeon’s direction. “Get him. Make our family proud.”

            “What?”

            “The food. Get the food.”

            He doesn’t have an idea how strong the persuasive powers of his Heechul hyung are because he quickly followed Junmyeon. When Junmyeon looked at him, Jongdae was greeted by his smiling eyes. That must be the reason why he finds himself pulling Junmyeon’s nape and kissing him on the lips. But the moment their lips touched, that’s the time when he realized what he did. He quickly separated from Junmyeon and just stared at him. His mind just went haywire. Junmyeon was also looking at him but with that unreadable expression on his handsome face. Junmyeon’s hand is still on Jongdae’s back, supporting him.

            “Jongdae!” He heard his Heechul hyung called. For the first time in many years, he called him by his birth name. His brother must have been really shocked.

            But surely not as shocked as he was.

            “I told you to kiss him.” His hyung continued. “But not on the lips! God! What am I going to tell Mom?”

            “What happened?” His Ryeowook hyung said, he just arrived.

            “Our baby brother just kissed someone.”

            “Cool! Let’s call up Mom.”

            Jongdae doesn’t know what went on his mind when he just kissed Junmyeon like that, and he went to his brothers. He slapped Heechul’s arm with force and he grabbed his Ryeowook hyung’s phone.

            “No one will tell Mom about this.” Jongdae threatened. “Or I’ll skin you two alive.”

            “Why did you kiss Junmyeon?”

            “Yeah. What face are we going to show to Junmyeon now?”

            Jongdae looked at Junmyeon. He was still standing there with the same blank expression on his face. Jongdae’s brows furrowed. Because he himself doesn’t know the reason why he kissed him. When he can’t think of an answer, he just walked away.

            “Hey, where are you going? Junmyeon will take responsibility of what he did to you.”


	4. Chapter 4

_Why did I kiss him?_ Jongdae is asking the same question for about a hundred times now while he’s leaning on the tiled wall of the bathroom and lathering his hair with shampoo. After the scene at the clubhouse earlier, he went to his Heechul hyung’s house where he chose to have a shower.

            Until now, it was still a big puzzle for him. Did he just let his hyung’s persuasion get him that’s why he kissed Junmyeon? But his brother didn’t order him to do it. He was fully aware of how his brothers manipulated the people around them. So, it’s impossible that it’s his brother’s fault that he did that hideous thing. So it’s his fault then? Because not even Junmyeon told him or asked him to kiss him.

            “I didn’t kiss him!” He said, and then he reached out for his bottle of shampoo. “Am I right? I didn’t kiss that guy. It’s just my imagination.” He shakes the bottle. “That’s right. Just agree with me.”

            With his conscience cleared, he enjoyed his shower more. But the memory of his kiss with Junmyeon is like an insect that keeps bugging him over and over again. Plus, the fact that Junmyeon doesn’t even had a reaction with what had happened. In the US, when you kissed someone, the two people will talk about it then they will continue their conversation in a cool and dark room. But why does Junmyeon didn’t talk about it? He doesn’t even follow him. Jongdae didn’t know why but there’s something piercing his heart.

            _Why didn’t he follow me? Why didn’t he talk to me? Is my kiss nothing to him?_ When he gets tired of lathering shampoo to his hair, he stood under the shower. _My kiss is something!_

            It’s impossible that Junmyeon didn’t feel anything with his kiss. Hello! It’s his kiss. After he showered, he went out to his room. He was choosing for something to wear when his brother called out to him.

            “Chen-chen, are you still alive?” He doesn’t answer. “Don’t kill yourself. You still have a visitor to attend to.”

            “Visitor?”

            “Junmyeon is here.”

            “Junmyeon?” Jongdae didn’t know why but his heart suddenly beats wildly. For the first time, he bit his own tongue because he lost himself for a moment. “Ouch! Ouch!”

            “Chen-chen, your face won’t change. You still look like a dinosaur so get out of your room.”

            “Hyung!” He quickly opened the door to get back to his Heechul hyung but he saw Junmyeon’s handsome face. His heart started beating unusually fast.

            “I brought back your lunch.” Junmyeon said and raised the paper bag. “Your hyungs said you still haven’t had your lunch. I just took it from you to annoy you. I didn’t mean to make you starve.”

            “I’m…” _Damn!_ Where is his annoying hyung when you need him? He was nowhere in sight. Jongdae cleared his throat. “I’m not hungry.”

            “If that’s the case, then I’ll just leave your food here. So that you can eat something when you get hungry.”

            Darn! What was with his heart? “No, thank you. Just bring it with you. I’m on a diet. Or you could just give it to my hyungs. Both of them have four stomachs and they can eat all of that.”

            “Are you sure? The restaurants are far from here and when you get hungry, it might take a while for the food to arrive if you ordered.” Junmyeon walked and placed the paper bag on the center table. “In any case, I’ll just leave I here, okay? Bye.”

            _Bye? That’s it?_ Junmyeon didn’t say anything about their kiss that happened in the clubhouse. How could he ignore a thing like that?

            “Wait.” Jongdae stopped Junmyeon and went near him. “Where’s Heechul hyung? I heard his voice earlier.”

            “He just left. He doesn’t want to hear our conversation.”

            “Why? What did you tell him that we are suppose to talk about?”

            “Nothing. It’s about the food that’s why I came here. Anyway, I want to apologize for what I did earlier.”

            “E-earlier?” Wait, if there’s someone who should apologize, it should be him because he kissed Junmyeon.

            _And wait, why should I apologize? I. Did not. Kiss him._

            “I just left you at the restaurant while I am the one that asked you to join me for lunch. Then I took your food away.”

            That’s it? Jongdae knew Junmyeon didn’t do anything wrong. But why is he waiting for Junmyeon to say about something else? And Jongdae noticed he is asking so many questions.

            “Yes.” Jongdae agreed. “It’s right that you apologize. It’s your entire fault.”

            Junmyeon just smiled at him. And it looks like Jongdae’s chest has been kicked by horses. He went near the paper bag and looked at the contents inside, so that he can just distract himself from what he is feeling right now.

            “It looks like these are all expired.” Jongdae said. “I’m not–”

            “Nah, I don’t think so.”

            Jongdae gasped because Junmyeon is behind him, looking inside the paper bag. His position placed him so close to Jongdae, his face was almost touching him. His stubborn heart starts beating wildly again. But he didn’t let Junmyeon notice that. No way! So Jongdae continued standing still.

            “This is expired.” He reiterated. He opened the bag. “Smell it.”

            “Yeah, I can smell it.”

            Jongdae noticed that Junmyeon was talking about something. He was sniffing him. There was this tingling feeling when he felt Junmyeon’s breath near his ear. Jongdae can’t take it, he took a step away from Junmyeon and faced him.

            “Let’s make this clear, shall we? Do you like me?”

            Junmyeon thinks for a while, and then he just smiled at him. And darn him! He was getting addicted to Junmyeon’s smile by the minute! And darn him again for noticing it!

            “As far as I know, you were the one that kissed me first.”

            “I… I’m…” _Damn! I can’t believe he could put me into this kind of situation! And still act as if it was nothing to him. How dare him!_ “It was just your imagination. I didn’t kiss you.”

            “You kissed me.”

            “You have evidence? Any witness?”

            “There is.”

            “Who?”

            “Me.”

            “You’re not counted.” Jongdae picked up the paper bag. “Okay, fine. I did kiss you. So what? It’s nothing. I just did that to distract you and get the paper bag from you.”

            “I wasn’t distracted. And you didn’t get the paper bag from me.” Junmyeon reached out a hand to Jongdae and gently pinched his cheeks. “You’re so tensed, Jongdae. If I were you, I’ll just forget that small kiss. It’s nothing for me, anyway. I’m used to those kinds of things.”

            Jongdae gawked at him. Somehow, Junmyeon’s words seemed to have cleared his head, though his heart didn’t stop beating crazily.

            “My dates kiss me all the time, for no particular reason. I don’t mind. If you want to do the same, go ahead, I won’t mind at all.”

            “I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that. Because I know that you are crazier than me.”

            “Hmm. What now? I like someone who’s crazier than me.”

            “And your point is?”

            “This.”

            Junmyeon trapped Jongdae’s face with his hands and kissed him on the lips. Jongdae wasn’t expecting that so he wasn’t able to react. But why is he not reacting if they are kissing for a while now? Is it because he likes the way Junmyeon’s warm and soft lips is kissing him? Or the way he gently kisses him?

            _Jongdae! Wake up! The guy is… kissing you!_ Being surprised is an understatement. A guy was kissing him without his permission! This guy! But before he could detach himself from Junmyeon, he detach from him first. Junmyeon finished their kiss.

            _No!_ That wasn’t our kiss! He was the one who– _ah, what the heck!_

            “Now we’re even, Jongdae.”

            “What?”

            “Hmm.” That’s it then Junmyeon turned away from Jongdae.

            He headed for the door and Jongdae was left dumbfounded. What did just happen? Or was there anything that happened? Because of the fast turn of events, Jongdae wasn’t sure if what he thinks what happened really happens. Jongdae touched his lips. But it seemed so real.

            “How’s your converstion with Chen-chen?”

            “Who’s Chen-chen?”

            “Heechul hyung’s talking about our brother.”

            Jongdae’s attention was turned to the door. His two hyungs are there.

            “It’s fine.”

            “We don’t see any bruises and scratches. I think your conversation went just fine.” his Ryeowook hyung looked at him. “Chen-chen, just go to your room, okay? Don’t go out until you’re dressed.”

            Junmyeon and his Heechul hyung looked at him. But Jongdae’s attention was with Junmyeon. Why can’t Jongdae move now while earlier, he was so smug? Is is that easy to shut him up? Just kiss him and its fine? It’s so cheap! Jongdae approached his hyungs.

            “Chen-chen, didn’t I tell you to get dressed first? You went–”

            “He kissed me.”

            “What?” His brothers asked in unison.

            “He kissed me.” He pointed at Junmyeon. “Earlier. While you two are out.”

            Jongdae waited for his hyung’s punches to Junmyeon. But their gazes just remained on them and his hyungs both grinned.

            “Awesome!”

            “Let’s call up Mom.”

 

\-----------------------------

 

            Jongdae’s jaw is starting to hurt because of smiling at the people they come across with. He doesn’t know what their problems are but since he’s not rude, he’s returning their smiles. When he arrived at the open-air restaurant, he learns why he’s suddenly famous.

            “You must be Kim Jongdae.”

            Two people are looking at him from the table near him. “Yes?”

            “You really kissed Junmyeon? Then why is he with another woman?”

            “Huh?”

            “Chanyeol, sweety, just don’t mind other’s business, okay?”

            “But Kris…” Chanyeol wasn’t able to continue his words when Kris kissed Chanyeol’s cheek.

            “By the way, my name is Kris. And this is my husband, Chanyeol.”

            Jongdae wasn’t into mushy stuff. But he liked looking at the couple in front of him. It’s like… it’s like he wants to be envious.

            “So why are you not with Junmyeon?” Chanyeol asked. “Did you two fight? Lovers’ quarrel?”

            “Lovers’ quarrel?”

            “Yeah, and I want to ask how you manage to tame another playboy of Exo Riding Club?”

            “Chanyeol, honey…” Kris looked apologetically at Jongdae.

            “No, it’s okay.” Jongdae assured. “Wait, playboy? I was kissed by a playboy?” He remembered what Junmyeon said to him the other day.

            _“My dates kiss me all the time, for no particular reason. I don’t mind. If you want to do the same, go ahead, I won’t mind at all.”_ So that’s why his kiss was nothing for him. Because that monkey is a playboy and he doesn’t care about how many people did he kissed.

            “Who spread that rumor? I just didn’t kiss him. He kissed me too.” Chanyeol gawked at him while Kris smiled at him. “And he kissed me in front of my brothers.”

            “Ah. If that’s the case, what your brothers said was true.”

            “My brothers?”

            “We knew about Junmyeon and you because of them.” Kris answered. “If I’m not mistaken, they really intended to spread the rumor.”

            Jongdae just occurred to him why his brothers didn’t do anything when he told them Junmyeon had kissed him. Because he just made a huge mistake. He told him his purpose of going back home. That he will find someone for them to marry. Now, the situation has changed. It seems like his brothers are finding him someone to marry. So they could get rid of him.

            But why does his brothers chose Junmyeon over the other nice guys from the club? Or, his brothers just asked Junmyeon to annoy him. And the worse thing could be, Junmyeon just kissed him because his brothers asked him to.

            Why? Junmyeon won’t kiss him unless his brothers ask him?

            Jongdae’s become more irritated when he saw Junmyeon entered with two women. Junmyeon glanced at him and smiled as a greeting. That’s it then they sat at the table near theirs. His mood is not good.

            “Is that his girlfriends?” Jongdae asked.

            “No.” Kris answered. “They are just guest here. There is a seminar at the Exo Guesthouse, one of the hotels here at the riding club. Advertising seminar to be exact. They belong to that group.”

            “Really?” Jongdae excused himself from her own group and went to Junmyeon’s table. He stood in front of them. Junmyeon’s smile still hasn’t left his lips when he turned to Jongdae.

            “Yes?” One of the women asked, clearly annoyed by his presence. “Do you need something?”

            Jongdae wants to pour the water in the vase to her. “Yeah. I want my guy.”

            “What guy?” The other woman asked.

            Jongdae pointed to Junmyeon that’s watching them. “That guy.”

            “Is that so? Junmyeon told us he’s not into a relationship at the moment.”

            “When did you ask him? The day before yesterday? Well, his status has changed yesterday.”

            The two women were taken aback a bit. But they immediately recovered. “You mean, you were the one that’s been rumored that was twice kissed by Junmyeon?”

            “Yeah.” Why does Jongdae waste his time talking to these kinds of people? He’s on his way back to their table when the woman talked.

            “You were just kissed by Junmyeon twice? What’s the big deal? I can kiss him more than twice.”

            _Bitch!_ “And who told you that it’s just a kiss that happened between us?”


	5. Chapter 5

            “Hello.”

            Jongdae just looked at Junmyeon who was standing at their front porch. Then he continued munching on his Toblerone bar while sitting on a couch at the front porch.

            “Mind if I join you?” Junmyeon asked.

            Jongdae nodded. Junmyon sat beside him.

            “What are you doing here? You don’t have a date today?” 

            “Well, since you’ve declared yesterday that I was exclusively yours, there’s no reason for me to date others.”

            “So now, you are bothering me?” Jongdae took a big bite of his chocolate and munched on it. “You know the reason why I messed up your life yesterday?”

            “You got jealous.”

            “Ha!” Jongdae laughed exaggeratedly. He almost chocked because of what he did. “You know, that wasn’t funny.”

            “I know. It’s difficult to not having someone to date when you really want to date someone.”

            Jongdae looked at Junmyeon. “Are you blaming me why you don’t have a date?”

            “Well, a bit.”

            “A bit?” Jongdae wants to throw his chocolates at Junmyeon.

            Junmyeon turned to him and smiled. But he wasn’t expecting what Junmyeon did next. He placed his face near Jongdae’s.

            “I’m your guy now, Jongdae. If they saw me having a date that s not you, they will ask you questions. Just like what Kris and Chanyeol did to you yesterday. You ran out of alibis and you looked like a fool in front of them because of me. I don’t want that. I admit I’m a bit of a player. But I won’t allow that I will e the cause of your discomfort.”

            In Junmyeon’s every words, Jongdae also distances himself from Junmyeon because their situation feels awkward. And the loud beating of his heart added to the awkward situation. His heart is beating louder, wilder.

            What is this guy doing to him?

            “I’m not–” Jongdae stilled when Junmyeon’s thumb touches the side of his lips.

            “You have chocolate smudges here…” Then he licked the tip of his thumb. “Hmm. Sweet. You’re not going to have cavities in that, Jongdae?”

            Jongdae ransacked his mind on what he should say for Junmyeon to get away with him. But his heart was getting in the way. He can’t think. His heart is loudly beating and his mind also went haywire. For the first time in his life, he backed out. He distances himself from Junmyeon.

            “G-go away, Junmyeon! Youk arek disturbing mek.” Jongdae paused for a second, then he turned to Junmyeon. “If you laugh, I’ll punch you!”

            Junmyeon just looked at him, move away and he laughed loudly. Jongdae wants to punch Junmyeon right there and then. He embarrassed himself for panicking, and yet he still laughs at him. But after watching Junmyeon and listening to his lively laugh, his annoyance is slowly dissolving. So instead of taking his laugh as an insult, it’s like a lullaby. What happened is, Jongdae just watched Junmyeon until the latter’s stomach hurts from too much laughing.

            Junmyeon was wiping tears from his eyes when he finally calmed down. His cheeks are still red from laughing when he turned to Jongdae. Laughter was still visible in his eyes, though.

            “Sorry.” Junmyeon loudly cleared his throat. The two of them was quiet for a while. “The weather is nice. Too bad, you’re just here in your house.” Junmyeon extended his hand to him. “Let’s take a walk, Jongdae.”

            It was really the right time to think straight, to tell him to drop dead and rot in hell. But instead of doing what his mind is telling him, he just reached for Junmyeon’s hand. The moment their hands touched, Jongdae felt something that resembled a light volt of electricity. He just looked at Junmyeon from where he is sitting at the couch. Jongdae blinked once. Twice. But he still can’t get a proper explanation to what he feels right now.

            Ah, what the hell! He just stood up and they went outside holding each other’s hands. They walked into an unfamiliar place. They arrived at a high place that is surrounded by trees and the view of the beautiful Yellow Sea can be seen below. Jongdae doesn’t even have an idea how they end up there because he was busy munching on his chocolate and looking at their hands.

            “This is what I like about this place.” Junmyeon said. “You can appreciate the beauty of the scenery without anyone disturbing you. And it’s walking distance from your home. Do you know that the view is more beautiful when you are horseback riding? Especially in the late afternoon. You could see the water in the sea, shining like crystals with the fading light of the sun.”

            Why is it that everything’s normal when they are holding each other’s hand like that? While they are always bickering. Or maybe Jongdae always argues with Junmyeon because he his kisses were nothing to Junmyeon. Jongdae just took a big bite from his chocolate to ignore the dull feeling in his chest. He immediately felt a pain from his mouth that creeps to his head.

            “I’ve been looking for a place like this.” Junmyeon continued. “Private, great view, nice house, complex facilities and amenities, a place one could relax after a hectic day of work. Also, it reminds me of the house I grow up with back in Seoul. Minus Yellow Sea, of course.”

            Jongdae touched his cheek and pressed onto it to relieve the pain that he is feeling. He also stopped himself from whimpering. But he can’t really help it because of the pain. Jongdae whimpered.

            “I agree with Siwon when he turned this place exclusively for men. Finally, a place we, men, could call our own. Even if he allowed women in here, still, the club members are the one who decides on–Jongdae? What’s wrong??

            Jongdae shook his head. “Let’s go back. My feet hurt.”

            “You’re holding your cheek.”

            “What do you care?” Jongdae growled at Junmyeon. He lets go of Junmyeoon’s hand then he decided to go back. But the problem is, he doesn’t know the way back.

            And when the pain flicked again, he unconsciously slapped Junmyeon’s chest. When Junmyeon gasped, he whimpered.

            “It hurts…”

            “Jongdae, why? What’s happening to you? What hurts?”

            “Nothing!” Jongdae snarled. “Nothing hurts! Where’s the way back? Why did you bring me here? Are you planning anything–” Jongdae decided to turn his attention somewhere so that he won’t embarrass himself in front of Junmyeon. But the pain kept on growing and there was no way he could handle it anymore. In the end, his anger was projected towards Junmyeon as he keeps on pinching and slapping his chest while pressing on his cheek. And despite all of that, Jongdae doesn’t hear anything from Junmyeon. And all the while, Junmyeon was comforting Jongdae with his gentle touch.

            “You’re having a toothache?”

            “No!” _Don’t make me fall in love with you, you moron!_ “I’m having a heart attack!”

 

\-----------------------------

 

            Jongdae doesn’t know what position he should do while lying on his bed and how long should he pinch his cheeks to get rid of the pain that he feels on his tooth. Since Junmyeon brought him back to his Ryeowook hyung’s house, he doesn’t stop from crying in his room. He’s brave and bold, but when it comes to toothache, he easily surrenders. Even both of his hyungs who are just looking at him and Junmyeon beside him, wasn’t able to do anything.

            “It’s been a long time since I saw Chen-chen cry.” His Ryeowook hyung said. “The last time he cried when he was in high school.”

            “He ran towards his school bus to catch up with his classmates.” His Heechul hyung continued. “Then he tripped and fell to the ground. Such a stupid kid.”

            Jongdae looked at his brothers and glared at them. He wanted to shout at them to get ou of his room. But he can’t do it because of the pain in his tooth.

            “We should bring him to the dentist.” Junmyeon suggested. “We can’t let him go on like this.”

            “He won’t go with you. If he’s not feeling well, his decision-making sucks.” Ryeowook said.

            “But he’d been crying for almost an hour now.” Junmyeon said.

            “Just let him. The medicine that he took will take effect anytime now.” Heechul said.

            Jongdae buried his face in his pillow again, and when the room became silent, he thought that they already left him. But he was surprised when he felt the bed dips and he heard Junmyeon’s voice.

            “Jongdae, I’ll bring you to the dentist, okay? So that they can take care of your tooth.”

            When Jongdae raised his head, he saw Junmyeon’s worried expression. He almost forgot about his tootache with Junmyeon’s face only a few inches away from his. His heart beats erratically. But why is that it was like a new habit for his heart to beat wildly every time Junmyeon is with him? What does Junmyeon have and his heart reacts like that? It seemed like… he liked him. More than liked him.

            It seems like there’s something flickered in his head when he felt the pain on his tooth. He grabbed for the monkey stuffed toy that is beside him and smacked it against Junmyeon’s face. Maybe his feelings got mixed up. From the annoyance because of the pain on his tooth to the weird feeling from his wildly beating heart. How could Junmyeon make him feel this way? Why him? Why now? When did all these start?

            “Jongdae, stop that.” His Heechul hyung scolded him. He called him by his real name. It seems like Jongdae had gone overboard. “Junmyeon cares about you so you better be grateful.”

            “Junmyeon is the only one who puts up with you. Don’t wait for him to give up on  you.”

            But he didn’t stop from smacking Junmyeon with the stuff toy. He wanted Junmyeon to give up on him. So that he leaves him alone. So that his weird feelings for him will go away too. But Junmyeon remained beside him and continued taking his slaps.

            ‘I will bring you to the dentist, Jongdae.” Jongdae smacked him but Junmyeon just closed his eyes and doesn’t left him. “The dentist will not touch your teeth, I promise. Just let him do an examination so we’ll know what to do to minimize, if not, stop the pain.”

            Jongdae just responded with a smack on Junmyeon’s face.

            “Junmyeon, just leave him alone.”     

            “You can’t do anything. He’s really like that.”

            _That’s right! Go away from me! Stop making me feel all this!_ Jongdae got tired and Junmyeon still stays beside him. His brothers also gave up on them.

            His Heechul hyung sighed. “Okay, I give up. Ryeowook, do you have any food on your kitchen?”

            “Nothing, hyung. Let’s just eat at Rider’s Verandah. I’m sick of the people here.”

            His brothers left. Jondae and Junmyeon are staring at each other and they were the only people in Ryeowook’s house. They are having a staring contest on who will be the one to give up first. Junmyeon’s face was a bit red from smacking his face with a stuff toy earlier. But Jongdae didn’t hear any complaints from him. Then Junmyeon moved to pick a tissue paper from his tissue box and gently dabbed it on Jongdae’s cheeks to dry his tears.

            “You’re sweaty.” Junmyeon said and picked a tissue again to wipe his forehead. “Maybe you should change your shirt. Your sweat might dry in your back. That’s not good.”

            “W-why are you doing this, Junmyeon?”

            “Because I want you to get better.” Junmyeon sighed and looked at Jongdae. “Let’s see a dentist, Jongdae. I don’t want to see nor hear you cry.”

            Jongdae blinked. He forgot his pain for a moment. There was denying anymore. The crazy feeling that’s happening is his mind and heart is caused by one person. Junmyeon. Jongdae was falling in love with him.

            Jongdae hiccupped. He wants to cry again. But this time, it’s not because of the pain on his damn tooth. Because Junmyeon was looking superbly handsome, while Jongdae looked like a drenched witch of the North.

            “Don’t cry, Jongdae.” Now it was Junmyeon’s warm hand that was gently wiping away the tears from his eyes. “I promise you’ll feel better soon.”

            “Why are you not leaving yet?” Jongdae sobbed. “I looked ugly. I feel I looked like a tyrannosaurus.”

            “What?”

            Jongdae’s tears continued to flow. “I looked like a dinosaur!”

            It’s obvious that Junmyeon is confused with what he said. But after a while, he just smiled while gently caressing Jongdae’s cheek. “You don’t look like a tyrannosaurus. You looked like a pterodactyl.”

            Jongdae slapped Junmyeon’s shoulder. Junmyeon just laughed while he’s holding his arm. Jongdae didn’t know exactly why but Junmyeon’s lively laughter was doing wonders to his system already. He wasn’t a bit offended at all. Not when he saw beauty behind his ugliness.

            Now who could blame him if he had fallen for this guy?

            “Jongdae, let me take you to the dentist. Let’s just try what the dentist can do to solve your problem, okay?”  Jongdae nodded. “Good boy.”

            Junmyeon stood up then he assisted Jongdae to carefully stand up. They were standing face-to-face now as Junmyeon gently brush away Jongdae’s messy hair from his forehead.

            “You’re not a dinosaur.” Junmyeon said gently. “You’re handsome. And that will never change in my eyes.”

            Jongdae doesn’t like playboys and sweet talkers. But his heart cannot deny this particular playboy and sweet talker.


	6. Chapter 6

           “Happy birthday.”

            Jongdae looked up from the book that he is reading to see Junmyeon’s smiling face. This was like the time right before he had his toothache dilemma three days ago. He was in their porch, just minding his own quiet world when Junmyeon showed up. But in this case, Jongdae accepted Junmyeon’s invasion of his quiet life.

            Jongdae looked at the small box that Junmeyeon carries. “My birthday is next year.”

            “I wasn’t talking about you. I meant your tooth that had just a cavity fill.” Junmyeon raised the box. “Happy birthday to it.”

            “You know, Junmyeon, good thing you’re with me. If not, no one will appreciate your corny jokes.”

            Junmyeon grinned and scratched the back of his head. “Really? Good thing I’m handsome.”

            Jongdae didn’t bother to say anything sarcastic. Junmyeon had been good to him the past few days. Because he was the one who brought Jongdae to the dentist and took care of him. Because his brothers didn’t bother to come near him while he was sick. But Jongdae can’t blame them. It was always been Jongdae’s problem when he was not feeling good. The world is his enemy so his brothers just leave him alone until he gets well. Or, Jongdae will be the one who will approach his brothers to ask for help. But he doesn’t need to approach his hyungs because Junmyeon is always by his side. And Jongdae was grateful for that.

            What is there not to be grateful? Junmyeon took care of him and Jongdae didn’t expect to fall in love with him. And even if he’s not sick anymore, Junmyeon is still by his side.

            “I can’t eat anything sweet. Dentist’s orders.”

            “The dentist said don’t forget to brush your teeth every time you eat something sweet. He didn’t say don’t eat anything sweet.” Junmyeon took out a plastic fork and paper plate. “You’re not listening to the dentist. You are busy looking at my face.”

            Jongdae picked up a paper plate in panic. “Excuse me. I wasn’t looking at you. I was looking at the skull model behind you. And so what if I’m looking at you? Is that a bad thing?”

            “No. I’m just glad.” Junmyeon placed a slice of cake at Jongdae’s plate. “When we first met, I thought you don’t care at anyone besides yourself. I just realized that you’re starting to notice the people around you.”

            “What, do you think I’m crazy? Having my own world?”

            “Nah. I just thought you’re a bit of a snob, that’s all. Turns out that I was wrong.”

            “I’m… a snob? Is that why most of the guests in the clubhouse looks like they’re angry at me?”

            “I said, not anymore, right? Besides, those people, I’m pretty sure they are just envious of you.”

            “Envious?”

            “Because you’re always with me.”

            “Really?” Junmyeon was probably right, though. Because Jongdae will get envious at the women that is with Junmyeon. But Jongdae doesn’t have to worry about that. Junmyeon was at Jongdae’s side now. And he loved every second of it.

            “Junmyeon.”

            “Hmm?”

            “Thank you.”

            “For what?”

            “For everything.”

            “It’s nothing.”

            “And I’m sorry too. I hurt you while you are helping me.”

            “It’s okay. My body is used to heavy workout. Your slaps and punches didn’t hurt me a bit.”

            “You’re really arrogant, aren’t you?”

            “All I’m saying is that you don’t have to worry about it. I like taking care of you. It makes me feel stronger.”

            “What?”

            Junmyeon leaned against the sofa while eating his cake. “You’re a tough guy, Jongdae. But after seeing you shed tears over a toothache, I thought you’re not really that tough. You need someone who will take care of you. Because you are not strong all of the time.”

            “And I also realized that needing someone sometimes isn’t that bad at all.” Jongdae focused his attention on his cake. “Our mom often told us that we shouldn’t rely on someone if we can do things on our own. And we shouldn’t interfere on someone when we know that he can do things on his own. That’s why you didn’t see my hyungs went near me or comforted me when I was suffering with my toothache. Because they knew that I can perfectly manage myself.”

            “You were raised to be that tough, huh!”

            “No. We were raised to have levelheaded minds. It’s applicable to me because I don’t want anyone interfering with my life. I’ll shout when I need help.”

            “You didn’t shout for help when I came to your side.”

            “It was different with you.”

            “How was I different?”

            Jongdae quickly shoved his fork with cake on his mouth. Why did he say that? Sometimes, he just can’t control his mouth. _What levelheaded mind?_

            “Jongdae?”     

            “This cake that you brought is really delicious, huh? Where did you buy this?”

            Junmyeon didn’t answer so Jongdae looked at him. He saw Junmyeon looking at him with that smile in his eyes. Jongdae almost screamed at him. Junmyeon should not look at him like that because he’s making his heart beat crazy. Okay, fine. Given the fact that he feels something for Junmyeon. That he loves him. But Jongdae doesn’t have any plans on saying it to Junmyeon. No way. Not now. He wasn’t ready to admit to Junmyeon that he doesn’t just love to have his presence with him all the time. That he loves to have his heart too.

            _You’re such a drama king, Jongdae._

            Junmyeon touched a thumb to the side of Jongdae’s lips, just like before he had his toothache. Jongdae turned his face away from Junmyeon. Because he was afraid that Junmyeon might hear his heart beating loudly.

            “You still don’t like me, do you?” Junmyeon asked. “What should I do for you to consider me as a friend, Jongdae?”

            Friend? But he doesn’t want Junmyeon to be his friend!

            _Then, what role do you want for Junmyeon to be in your life?_ Jongdae asked himself. _Boyfriend? Lover? Companion?_ Jongdae doesn’t answer. He can’t answer.

            “We can…” Jongdae cleared his throat. “We can be friends.”

            “Cool. But why aren’t you looking straight at me? It looks like you’re not sincere with your offer.”

            Jongdae forced himself to look at Junmyeon even if he’s going crazy with the way his heart is beating wildly. “I accept you as a friend. Satisfied now?”

            “I think so, yeah. Why are you still single?”

            “What?” Where is this conversation going, really? Jongdae is getting confused.

            “Why are you still single? Your hyungs said that it was five years ago since you had a boyfriend. That was a very long time ago. You’re handsome. So that’s why you should have a boyfriend right now. Or a fiancé.”

            “You talk like you want me to marry some other guy.”

            “Of course not. I’m just wondering.”

            “How about you, why are you still single?”

            “Who told you that?” Something pinched Jongdae’s heart. Junmyeon’s not single anymore? “I have official and unofficial boyfriends and girlfriends. Do you want to know how many of them?”

            “No!” Jongdae ate a huge piece of cake. Boyfriends and Girlfriends? As in plural word with a capital ‘S’? _This monkey is such a playboy!_

            “Okay. So, why are you still single?”

            “Because I’m lazy to have one.”

            “Is that an acceptable reason?”

            “For me, yes.”

            “You’ve been lazy for a long time, huh.”

            Jongdae put down his paper plate. “Why are you pushing me to have a boyfriend? I said I don’t want one. And I wasn’t able to find a guy that deserves my love. A guy who will not abandon me. A guy who will not see another man besides me. A guy who will value me more than his life. A guy who will take care of me. And a guy who will love me not because he can’t find a boyfriend.”

            “Did your first boyfriend abandoned you?”

            “Yes. Because you guys are like that. You only take a boyfriend or a girlfriend for your own convenience. Just to say that you have someone and you look cool for other people. You always need a trophy by your side, to complete your appearance.”

            “He had hurt you.”

            “No, he didn’t. But he managed to influence my beliefs in love and relationships. And not in a good way.”

            Junmyeon just sighed. “I didn’t expect that there are guys like him that is still existing. I apologize on his behalf, Jongdae.”

            “Did you not hear me? I said he didn’t hurt me. No one could ever hurt me.”

            Junmyeon just smiled. But his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “When I meet that guy, I’ll crush his bones for you.”

            “You don’t need to. I already did that.”

            Jongdae felt relieved somehow. It feels so good that Junmyeon is ready to be a criminal just to protect his pride that has been crushed.

            “I don’t have an official girlfriend or boyfriend now.” Junmyeon said after a while. “Being in a relationship is so demanding. So as much as possible, if I don’t love the woman or the man, I won’t promise them anything. And I don’t want to hurt their feelings either. I’m afraid of karma.”

            Fair enough. At least, Junmyeon’s lovers know what they are engaging into. Jongdae is just happy that Junmyeon doesn’t have anyone right now. He’s free to daydream about him.

            “How about your nonofficial girlfriends and boyfriends?”

            “None. You made sure I wouldn’t get one at the moment.” Junmyeon turned to him and smiled. “I said before that as long as our names are associated with each other, I can’t have someone else beside me. Exo Riding Club members will skin me alive.”

            At first, Jongdae is happy when he hears that. But eventually, it seems like it’s not a nice thing to hear. Because it turns out that he is a nuisance to Junmyeon’s love life.

            “Why are you listening to those people?” Jongdae said irritably. “If you want to have a life, that’s your business. Don’t let them dictate you.”

            “It’s not that they are dictating me. In a way, I want to be like this. My life is quiet. There’s no one demanding for my attention. I miss being alone.”

            “And I was your excuse?”

            “It came in handy.”

            _Handy!? This jerk is really hurting my feelings!_ If Jongdae didn’t love this man, he will throw Junmyeon at the sea.

            “What should I do to stop our names being associated from each other?” Jongdae said. “I don’t want to cause a problem to your love life. You’ve helped me a lot when I got sick.”

            “I’m not asking for anything for my help that I gave you. That’s why it’s called help, because it’s for free. As for my love life, I don’t mind being alone at the moment. It’s better that you are with me right now. It’s fun.”

            “I’m not a clown.”

            “That’s right. But you’re still making me happy.”

            “I’m not saying any jokes either.”

            “You don’t have to joke. I get happy when I see you.”

            “Are you insulting me?”

            “What?”

            “There’s nothing funny with my face!”

            Junmyeon’s eyebrows furrowed. Then he smiled when he got what Jongdae has said. Jongdae’s heart wholeheartedly accepted the beautiful sight in front of him. That’s why his sentiments are gone just like that.

            “I didn’t say your face is funny. I just meant that I’m happy every time I see you. That’s why I’m here at your hyung’s house right now.”

            Jongdae’s annoyance easily boiled down. It doesn’t matter if Junmyeon is just patronizing him or not. What’s important is that he likes this feeling. It’s so much better if he just let his heart feel everything than stopping himself.

            “But if I’m really bothering you, it’s easy to disassociate our names from each other.”

            “Huh?” _Wait, I’m not saying that I don’t want us to be linked to each other .I just said–_

            “If they have not seen us together for two to three days, that would be okay. They will stop bothering us. And then we both could take on a companion, that would seal everything. We’ll both be free.”

            _I said I don’t want that to happen! I really want to punch you, Junmyeon!_ “It’s up to you.”

            “Jongdae.”

            “What?”

            “Do you still want it?”

            “Want what?”

            “Cake.”

            “No.” Jongdae stood up. “I’ll brush my teeth now. Thank you for the cake.”

            Jongdae went to the kitchen sink to brush his teeth. While he is busy brushing his teeth, he can’t help but think of Junmyeon and his feelings for him. Should he complain that he doesn’t want to end the issue about the two of them that circulates around the Exo Riding Club? If everyone knows that their so-called relationship is not real, Junmyeon will be flocked by women and men. Jongdae had seen it and he hated it. He will go berserk if that happens. Maybe he should tell Junmyeon about it. But what would be his reason? That he was in love with him? Maybe Junmyeon will laugh at him. Jongdae can’t accept that and maybe he will just end up punching Junmyeon.

            Jongdae hated rejection most. In their family, he wasn’t able to feel that. Also with his friends, relatives or even the men that came through his life. He puts all of them in the pedestal. And it’s what he’s used to. Maybe there’s a handful of people who rejected him but it didn’t affect him at all because he doesn’t care. But with Junmyeon, Jongdae knew he couldn’t hurt him badly just with his words. And he doesn’t know how to handle that.

            Junmyeon was right about Jongdae. He was tough but he had a very fragile heart. That’s why he’s really trying his best to avoid getting hurt.

            “Jongdae.”

            Jongdae gasped and he almost choked with the bubbles made by his toothpaste. He rinsed off his mouth then he faced Junmyeon who was following him without his knowledge.

            “What the heck are you trying to do?  You scared me half to death!”

            “Sorry.” Junmyeon leaned on the kitchen counter. “I thought you knew that I’m here.

            “No.” Jongdae wiped his mouth with his hand. “What are you still doing here?”

            “Are you doing something later?”

            “Yes.”

            “What is it?”

            “I’ll think about it first.”

            “Do you want to come with me?”

            Was Junmyeon asking him for a date? “Where?”

            “Everywhere.”

            Jongdae threw an apron to Junmyeon that he snatched from above the refrigerator. Maybe his Heechul hyung left it there. But it was a good thing, because  he had a way to hide the excitement that he is feeling.

            Because Junmyeon seemed like he was asking him out.

            “That would be impossible. Even if we already know each other, and I accepted you as a friend, I will not go with you to your so-called ‘everywhere’.”

            Junmyeon grinned at him. Jongdae’s heart gave in.  

            “We’ll ride a horse. I will give you a tour. Your hyungs said you’re still not able to have a tour around the club.”

            “We’ll ride a horse? We will ride your horse?”

            “Well, your hyungs told me you don’t know how to ride a horse.”

            “Well, my hyungs also told me that once a club member let someone ride with him on his horse, he’ll spend the rest of his life with that person.”

            Junmyeon just shrugged. “It’s fine with me.”


	7. Chapter 7

            “It’s okay with you that–”

            “Yeah, don’t worry, I don’t believe in that hearsay. It was just made by the past members of this club because one of them was married here. They just heard it from the female guests on how romantic the wedding was because the horse of the member was used in the carriage.”

            Jongdae felt like an airplane fell down on him. How dare Junmyeon say that? He didn’t even let him dream for a while.

            “Some of the members affirmed that hearsay though. Kris and Kai for example.” Junmyeon continued. “But it was their choice. For me, it doesn’t really matter on whom I will ride my horse with. Because in the end, it will be my choice alone on whom should I choose to be with for the rest of my life. I won’t let a mere joke affect one of the most important aspects of my life.” Junmyeon returned the apron that Jongdae snatched from the top of the refrigerator then he faced him and gently tapped his cheek. “So, cheer up! I’ll just give you a tour around the club. I won’t bring you to a church and force you to marry me.”

            _Cheer up?_ Jongdae couldn’t even bring himself to smile. He wasn’t expecting anything from Junmyeon, that was a given fact when he realized that he had fallen in love with him. But whenever Junmyeon becomes so sweet to him, Jongdae can’t help but dream that they are more than friends.

            Jongdae swatted Junmyeon’s hand. “Fine. I’ll go with you. I just want to enjoy my time here in Korea anyway.”

            “You’re going somewhere?”

            “I want to go back to America to continue my work there. My salary is better there.” Jongdae joked. But in reality, he just thought about it just now. He doesn’t have an idea why. Maybe he’s preparing for his major heartbreak that will happen anytime soon?

            His situation right now is so depressing.

            “I thought you were going to stay here for good?”

            “How did you know that?”

            “Your hyungs told me.”

            “My hyungs?” Jongdae can’t help but to get suspicious. “I noticed that you know many things about me because of them.”

            “We’re just talking about you sometimes, that’s all.”

            _There you go Jongdae, you got humiliated again._ Jongdae sighed. _I should stop assuming things. This is not my style, really._

            “I see. If you want to know something about me, just ask me, okay? Because if my hyungs are telling you something, they are like doing math. Adding and subtracting something.”

            “Yeah, I noticed that.” Junmyeon answered while chuckling. “I’ll go now, Jongdae. I’ll just see you tonight.”

            “Tonight? We’re going horseback riding at night?”

            “I mean, later. Later this afternoon.”

            “Ah. Okay.” But after a while, they are both just standing in front of each other and not saying anything. “Junmyeon, I thought you’re going now?”

            “That’s right.”

            “So why are you still here?” Junmyeon just stayed quiet while looking at him. It looks like he still wants to say something but he chose to stay quiet. Jongdae tapped Junmyeon’s shoulder.

            Junmyeon just caught Jongdae’s arm and looked at him with that mysterious glow in his eyes. For a moment, Jongdae tought that Junmyeon’s eyes were fireworks that were lit and his heart starts beating wildly again. Jongdae just leaned on the refrigerator when Junmyeon went near him. He was looking intently at him. And because Jongdae’s heart is getting in the way, he can’t say anything. But so many things were running in his mind right now.

            _If Junmyeon kissed me right now, I wouldn’t mind at all! I don’t care what will happen. I also don’t care what he is planning to do with me. Just–_

            “Excuse me.”

            Jongdae almost stumbled when there’s someone who recklessly opened the refrigerator door. Good thing Junmyeon caught him. If not, his face will land on the stove.

            “Ryeowook, easy on your brother.”

            _Ryeowook?!_ When Jongdae recovered, he looked at his older brother that was looking suspiciously at him and Junmyeon while drinking his canned beer.

            “Hyung, what are you doing here?”

            “Drinking beer.” Ryeowook glared at Junmyeon.

            Junmyeon cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Jongdae. I’ll be going now. I’ll see you later. I’m going to fetch you here.”

            Ryeowook just nodded at Junmyeon as a goodbye. Jongdae wondered why are they acting like that but he’s sure that Junmyeon is not afraid of his hyung. But it looks like Junmyeon was avoiding something. Jongdae slapped his hyung’s shoulder.

            “Why did you terrorize Junmyeon? Because of you, he left in a hurry.”

            “What? I don’t know. Maybe he’s guilty of something.”

            “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

            “Not yet. Maybe if I didn’t arrive on time, Heechul hyung’s kitchen will get dirty. He will get mad.” Ryeowook looked at him. “You two have a date later? Just stay in well-lit places, okay? And also, you have to be back before eight.”

            Jongdae rolled his eyes at him. “Duh.”

            Ryeowook placed his arm around him. “Are you really sure about Junmyeon, Chen-chen? You don’t know him really well. And you should not fall in love to someone that you didn’t really know.”

            “I’m not in love with him!”

            “Yeah, right. You two were about to kiss if I didn’t walk in.”

            “We’re not! It’s just your imagination–aw!” His hyung placed his can of cold beer to his face.

            “Who are you kidding? I’m always doing that.”

            Jongdae knotted his forehead. “You’re kissing someone for no reason?”

            “Fool. All kisses have a reason.”

            “And what is that reason?”

            “Tell me, Jongdae. Are you in love with Junmyeon?”

            Jongdae stilled. Is he ready to admit his feelings to other persons? Maybe. But he can’t admit his feelings to Junmyeon to his hyungs. Because matters of the heart were personal things. And he doesn’t want his hyungs to mess up with his personal life.        

            “No.”

            “Okay.” Ryeowook turned away. “Ah, before I forgot. Don’t let Junmyeon kiss you if you don’t love him. That thing is sacred. It’s just for persons who love each other.”

            “Wait, hyung! You’re not answering my question on what is the reason why someone kisses you.”

            “I already answered that.”

\-----------------------------

            Jongdae just sighed while watching Junmyeon fix the saddle that they will use on his horse. He looks really good while wearing the club’s uniform. Even from different angles, he doesn’t have any flaw. And Jongdae won’t get tired of looking at him.

            Two more members emerged from the stable while holding their horses’ rein. He immediately recognized the two – Kai and Sehun that he had met at the clubhouse. The two are both handsome and elegant in their uniforms. But his attention is just on Junmyeon.

            “Junmyeon, we heard that you have a date tonight. Does Jongdae know about it?”

            “Maybe he’ll kick your ass.”

            Junmyeon looked at the two. “Yes, Jongdae knows about it. In fact, he’s here with me.”

            Junmyeon pointed at him and Sehun and Kai looked at his direction. But instead of getting embarrassed, the two just smirked at him.

            “Jongdae, I wasn’t able to thank you yet for what you did to me and my Kyungsoo.”

            “You’re welcome, Kai. How’s Kyungsoo? Are you going to marry him?”

            “Next month. By the way, the thing that’s going on between you and Junmyeon is getting serious?”

            “Maybe you’ll regret your decision.” Sehun said.

            Junmyeon went near him and faced Kai and Sehun. “Leave Jongdae alone, you mere muggles.”

            Instead of listening to Junmyeon, the two just laughed while taking out their phones from their pockets and took pictures of him and Junmyeon. Jongdae wondered why it seems to be okay with Junmyeon while he asked Sehun and Kai to leave them alone.

            “Wait, do Heechul and Ryeowook know that you are taking away their dongsaeng?” Sehun asked. “Maybe we’ll just know that those two kicked your ass.”

            “They already know about this.” Junmyeon glanced at Jongdae. “I have their blessings.”

            “That’s why I like about you, kid.” Kai said. “You work really fast.”

            “I have to.”

            Jongdae doesn’t understand the flow of their conversation. But because he’s in a good mood, he didn’t say anything. It seems like they see him and Junmyeon as a couple so he’s somehow happy. But Jongdae’s grin was wiped out from his face when there’s a woman who went near them. Her smile is directed towards Junmyeon. He remembered this woman– Lee Hyeyoung, the woman who’s the reason why Junmyeon ditched him on their supposedly lunch together.

            “I knew I’d fond you here. Can we talk for a while, Junmyeon? It’s important.”

            “Ah, can’t it wait? Jongdae and I need to go somewhere.”

             The woman just threw Jongdae a look as if he is a dust. _Bitch!_

            “We’ll just talk for a while, Junmyeon. And anyway, it’s about business so I’m sure that you’ll prioritize it before…” The woman threw him an insulting look again. “Any unimportant stuff. I’m putting up a coffee shop and I’m thinking of getting your company as a major supplier of our coffees. How does that sound?”

            Junmyeon looked at him. It seems like he’s having second thoughts on talking to the “bitch” woman. “Jongdae, can I leave you here for a moment? I’ll just talk to Hyeyoung. I’ll be back in a short while.”

            “Go ahead _._ ” _How dare you?! You’re choosing that monster over me_?! “Business is more important anyway.”

            “It’s not like that, Jongdae–”

            “Yeah, I understand.” Jongdae looked at the vast land in front of him. “I guess I’ll just walk around here.”

            “Wait for me, okay?”

            “Okay.”

            Junmyeon squeezed his hand before going with Hyeyoung. Jongdae really wants to command the horses to kick the woman, if the horses can really understand him. The two doesn’t go that far so he clearly saw how the woman snaked her arms on Junmyeon’s arm. She was seducing Junmyeon! And that man is just doing nothing!

            “He’s really a playboy!” Jongdae said that Kai and Sehun heard.

            “Don’t mind them, Jongdae. Come on, we’ll just tour you around while the two of them are still talking.”

            “No. Thank you, Sehun.”       

            “You’re really hurting our ego, Jongdae. There’s the two of us who’s more handsome and yet you’re not contented.” Kai said.

            Jongdae looked at them. “You two are going somewhere, right? Just leave me here. I’ll be okay.”

            “But we can’t leave you here. You might do something.”

            “And what will I do?” Jongdae looked at Junmyeon’s direction when he heard the two laughed. “Can I drag that girl around the riding club using these horses? I want to see her ripped into pieces.”

            “Uh…”

            “Never mind. I was just kidding.” But if Jongdae is given a chance, he will do that evil plan because he’s really jealous.

            That Junmyeon didn’t even thought for a second that he’s with someone. He just left him just like that. And he chose to be with that woman. Who’s sane person won’t get jealous ecause of that?

            Jongdae can’t take it anymore. “Can you please bring me to the clubhouse?”

            “You still have a date with Junmyeon, right?”

            “Just wait for him, Jongdae. He’ll be here in a moment.”

            Jongdae just turned his back on Sehun and Kai and made his way to Henry who just arrived. He was riding his own horse and looked at Jongdae with a knotted forehead when he approached him. It’s obvious that Henry’s mood is not good. But Jongdae doesn’t care. His also not in a good mood.

            “Could you take me back to the clubhouse?”

            “And why would I do that?”

            “Because I can help you with Amber.” Jongdae is aware that Henry and Amber are not okay right now.

            Henry thinks for a moment. “And why would I be needing your help?”

            _This man is really hard to talk to!_ “Because you love her and she loves you. Junmyeon be damned if I’m not right.”

            Even if Jongdae didn’t look, he knows that Henry is looking at Junmyeon’s direction before looking at him. He thought that Henry wouldn’t budge. But then he leaned down and reached a hand to Jongdae. But before he could take Henry’s hand, someone grabbed his arm.

            “Jongdae’s coming with me.”

            That was Junmyeon. He’s holding Jongdae’s arm and he reached out for his hand. Then he turned to him with knotted forehead. “Didn’t I tell you that I’ll just talk to Hyeyoung for a whike? And I thought that you’ll just walk around while waiting for me?”

            “I’ve changed my mind.” Jongdae tried to take back his hand but Junmyeon didn’t let go. “I just want to go home instead. Just go back to Hyeyoung. Maybe you two are not done ‘talking’ yet.”

            “Are you jealous of Hyeyoung?”

            _Yes! You insensitive prick!_ “Hah, excuse me! Don’t compare me to that girl. We’re not on the same level.”

            “You’re still not answering my question.”

            “Because it’s not even a question, Junmyeon.”

            “Stop beating around the bush, Jongdae.”

            “Okay, fine. I’m not jealous. Are you happy now?”

            “No.”

            “Fine, then deal with it.” Jongdae tried to pull his hand away. “My hand, please.”

            Junmyeon thinks for a moment. But in the end, he gave up because he sighed chose to let go of his hand. “I’ll take you home.”

            “Okay. But I won’t be riding any horse.”

            “It’ll be faster if we ride a horse.”

            “It’s okay. I’m not in a hurry, anyway.” Jongdae starts to walk. Junmyeon walked beside him. “You don’t need to go with me. I can go back to the clubhouse on my own. It’s not far from here. I can ask Heechul hyung to fetch me there.”

            “My date is cancelled. So, I can’t do anything but to go with you everywhere you go.”

            “Are you regretting it?”

            “Yes.”

            “Then go back to Hyeyoung.” _If you want, I can kick you back to her._

            “Why would I go back to her? You’re my date, right?”

            “You want to be with her more, right? You even ditched me just to be with her.”

            “You were the one who told me that it’s okay of we talk for a while.”

            “Whatever.” Jongdae almost got outbalanced when Junmyeon held his arm. He faced him angrily. “What the hell is your problem, Junmyeon? Do you want to injure me or something?”

            “You’re jealous of Hyeyoung earlier, right?”

            “No.”

            “Why is it so hard for you to admit your true feelings?”

            “Because I have nothing to admit.”

            Junmyeon held both of his shoulders. “Tell me the truth, Jongdae. Do you have feelings for me or none?”

            “I refuse to answer that.”

            “Why?”

            “I’m lazy to answer.”

            “Jongdae.” It seems like Junmyeon’s patience is already out based on the way he clench his jaw. “This is the last time I’m gonna ask you.”

            “You don’t have the right to ask me about my personal feelings, Junmyeon. Besides, why are you asking me that? So what if I’m jealous about Hyeyoung? If I have feelings for you, why are you so insistent on knowing about it?”

            Jongdae can clearly see how Junmyeon’s expression changed. He couldn’t read the meaning behind it but he knew it wasn’t good. Because Junmyeon’s grip on his shoulders loosened.

            “You’re right.” Junmyeon said. “I don’t have any right on asking you those kinds of things. Because I can’t even tell you what I really want to say.”

            “What?”

            Junmyeon just smiled. But his smile didn’t reach his beautiful eyes. He just laid a hand on Jongdae. Based on what he can see, it seems like Junmyeon gave up on something that he doesn’t really understand. In any case, Jongdae just accepted Junmyeon’s hand. And when their hands touched, any negative feelings that he felt towards Junmyeon just vanished. It seems like his heart lost its mask.

            Jongdae was still totally in love with Junmyeon.

            Jongdae wants to punch himself. Why is he always changing his mind? Maybe, he needs to get away from Junmyeon so that he could think clearly. But can he take it if he can’t see Junmyeon for a while? He looked at Junmyeon while they are walking holding each other’s hands. He will miss him, that’s for sure. But Jongdae really needs to sort things out. Because everyone will be affected if his thoughts are not organized. And that wasn’t like him.

            The Kim Jongdae that everyone know is a levelheaded person. He’s not like this. Disorganized, redundant and going crazy.

            “Jongdae?”

            “Hmm?” Jongdae wants to cry when he heard Junmyeon say his name the sweetest way possible. He would definitely miss him.

            “I’m sorry about what I said.”

            “Okay.”

            “Are you mad at me?” Jongdae can’t answer. “Can we do this again next time? I mean, go out on a date again?”

            “I didn’t know this was a date.”

            “I know. That’s why next time, I won’t mess up.” Junmyeon pulled Jongdae towards him. “Next time, no one will interfere.”

            That was a promise. But of what? Jongdae knows that he’s the messy one between the two of them.

            _Aaahhh! Darn it! I don’t want to ask so many questions!_

            “Well?” Junmyeon said.

            “I don’t know.”

            Junmyeon was silent for a moment. Then he sighed heavily again.

            “What more shall I do for you, Jongdae?”

            “Huh?”

            Junmyeon smiled at him. But it was a sad smile. “Nothing.”


	8. Chapter 8

           Jongdae tapped his pen on his notebook. He had been trying to create new building designs. His company called him where he is working as a senior architect and they asked for a new building design that he needs to pass. But after downing two cups of mocha frappe, there’s still no ideas forming in his mind. And all he had come up with were weird sketches of undecipherable things. He was trying to concentrate but all he could think of is Junmyeon’s handsome face smiling at him.

            It has been a week since his hyungs brought him back to Seoul from the Exo Riding Club. It is because their parents came back from Australia which has been their last destination from their around-the-world tour.

            “Oppa, help me.” One of the waitresses at the café bar, Jihye, sat at the vacant chair across him. She gets a face powder from her uniform’s pocket and retouched her face. “This job is so hard. It makes your skin oily. Good thing you survived somehow.”

            “You can always escape from your obligation if you want to.” Jongdae said. “You’re an international supermodel now, aren’t you? When you’re on the tour in other countries.”

            “Well, yeah…”

            Jihye is his childhood friend and neighbor because their parents are close friends living in the same village where most of them are still living until now. And because of their parents’ wish, they are working on The Emperor Café once a month together with their other childhood friends. His hyungs also work there when they are not busy with their companies and just want to relieve their stress.

            “Kim Junmyeon.” Jihye mumbled.

            Jongdae gawked at her. “How did you know Junmyeon?”

            Jihye raised his notebook. There is one name that stood out from his weird drawings–Kim Junmyeon.

            “That’s why I noticed that your mind is off somewhere.” Jihye said. “You’ve been thinking about your guy.”

            Jongdae gets his notebook back and stared at it. “Yeah, I miss him.”

            “Then call him. That’s why cellphones are made for hopeless romantics like you.”

            “I can’t.”

            “Why not?”

            “I just want to forget him for a while. My mind goes haywire if he’s beside me. I don’t really know what I want and I don’t want.”

            “Who told you that being in love is not insane? That’s the reality, oppa.”

            “Do you have a boyfriend?”

            “Yeah, I had a boyfriend before. But now, I think I don’t want to have one. And anyway, I can have a boyfriend anytime I want. There are so many handsome boys around.”

            Jihye pointed to their other childhood friends that are also serving the customers in that café. She also pointed at the few customers. They are all handsome, all right. But Jongdae is ignoring them because he wants to see Junmyeon’s handsome face.

            “You’re not interested.” Jihye said when she noticed his reaction. “Your boyfriend is lucky. You’re not looking at someone else but him.”

            “He’s not my boyfriend.”

            “He’s not? Then who are you thinking about since you stepped in this café?”

            “The man I love.”

            “He’s your boyfriend, then.”

            “No. He doesn’t even know how I felt.”

            “Why didn’t you tell him?”

            “I just want to clear things about myself.”

            “Like?”

            “Honestly, I really don’t have an idea. All I know is that there’s something I really need to straighten out before I face him again.”

            “Hmm. Just hurry up fixing whatever that thing is, okay? Maybe when everything is okay, he will be in someone else’s arms.”

            “Don’t say that, Jihye-ah. Just wish me luck, okay?”

            Jihye nodded and continued applying powder to her face. But Jongdae is worried with what Jihye has said. He himself is confused in what he should fix about himself and what if when he comes back, Junmyeon is with another woman or man? What will he do if that happens?

            Taehyung, the manager of the Emperor Café approached them. He is one of the two sons of the café’s owner.

            “Sorry for disturbing you, Jongdae hyung. Are you busy? There are so many customers today and we’re short of staffs. Our other childhood friends couldn’t make it today. Could you give us for a while?”

            “It’s okay.”

            “Jihye-ah, can’t you do that in the women’s bathroom?”

            “Fine, halabeoji.” She stood up and puts her powder in her pocket. “Am I pretty now?”

            “You’ve always been pretty, Jihye-ah. So, can you please get the customers’ orders?”

            “Well…”

            “Please?”

            “Okay.”

            “You look like you have a school nursery here, Taehyung-ah.”

            “You have no idea, hyung.” He gave Jongdae an apron which serves as the café’s uniform.

            Jongdae picked his notebook up and Taehyung noticed a name that was written there.

            “Kim Junmyeon. Taehyung said, the same with how Jihye said Junmyeon’s name.

            “Are you not going to ask me what this man in my life is?”

            “I don’t have to. Heechul hyung and Ryeowook hyung already told me about him.” Taehyung motioned at someone at the door. “That’s him, right?”

            He saw Junmyeon entering their establishment. And he’s with a woman. Not Hyeyoung. Someone else who is prettier and more sophisticated. Someone that is in the same level as Jongdae. His heart is immediately eaten by jealousy. He remembered Jihye’s words earlier.

            _Just hurry up fixing whatever that thing is, okay? Maybe when everything is okay, he will be in someone else’s arms._

            Is he too late?

            “The woman was pretty.” He heard Taehyung said. “But I think she’s nothing like you, hyung. Go get your man.”

Taehyung winked at him and went to Jihye’s direction who’s looking confused while writing a customer’s order. Jongdae feels jealous with Junmyeon and his woman. Does this mean that he’s giving up Junmyeon?

 _No!_ His mind shouted

 _Then do something,_ a little voice in his mind answered.

_Do what?_

            Jongdae saw that Junmyeon looked at his direction and smiled at him. And he felt like someone squeezed his heart. He still deeply loves Junmyeon. Jongdae doesn’t want to give him up. But what should he do to get him back? He shouldn’t have stayed away before. Now he has to suffer for his stupidity. Then Jongdae found himself walking towards the table of Junmyeon and his woman. He almost got deaf with his heartbeat when he finally arrived at their table.

            Junmyeon looked even more handsome now than the last time he saw him. And he just missed him so much.           

            “Why did just come now?” The woman asked him harshly. “We were waiting for you.”

            Junmyeon, why did you look for another woman? You really don’t have feelings for me? Jongdae realized that his efforts to protect his heart were useless because now, he is hurt. So much.

            “Brewed coffee. No sugar. Hurry up. You move so slowly.”

            “How about you, Jun–I mean, Sir? What’s your order?”

            “I’ll order later, thanks.”

            Jongdae calmed down when he finally heard Junmyeon’s voice. _Talk to me, Junmyeon. Ask me to come back to you. Tell me you love me too._

            “What are you waiting for?” The woman spat at him.          

            But Jongdae let his gaze linger to Junmyeon for a while before he left them. He went to the counter to give their order.

            “What a bitch!” He heard Eunsol said. She also went to the counter to give the order that she took. “I heard how she insults our Jongdae.”

            “Jongdae-ah, you just went to the US, you became meek.” His Soojin noona said. “What happened to you? I remembered you were the one who protected us from the bullies in our village. But now, you just let her treat you like that? Where’s the Kim Jongdae that we know?”

            Jongdae also asked that to himself. What happened to Jongdae that doesn’t agreed to be treated like trash? If he didn’t even know himself anymore, he might as well lose the man that he deeply loves.

            So he had to do something. He will fight until Junmyeon himself will tell in his face that he doesn’t love him. The woman’s coffee is ready. His childhood friends are cheering him on while he is making his way on Junmyeon’s table. But he was busy listening to the woman that he didn’t even throw him a look.

            _Why are you not looking at me, Junmyeon? It seems like you didn’t know me. It seems like we didn’t even share any memories at the Exo Riding Club. And it seems like we didn’t kiss. Twice!_

            Jongdae secretly kicked Junmyeon. He finally looked at him. It seems like his friends’ encouragement was the reason why he’s smiling at Junmyeon now.

            “Are you ready to order now, Sir?”

            “He said that he doesn’t want to order yet.” The woman answered for Junmyeon. “Can’t you understand that?”

            “Yoonseo, it’s okay. I’m about to order, anyway.” Junmyeon looked over the menu.

            That insolent Yoonseo girl is just glaring at him. But Jongdae feels sorry for her because he is sassier and he’s way nicer than her.

            “Junmyeon, how are you?” Junmyeon looked at him. Jongdae restrained himself for cupping the other man’s face. “Do you still remember me? Because I do. I still don’t forget our memories at the Exo Riding Club. I miss those days. And I… miss you.”

            Jongdae feels like running back to the counter and dig a hole to hide into when he doesn’t get a reaction from Junmyeon. He’s just looking at him in silence.

            _You’re not an ordinary man, Jongdae. Show it to Junmyeon._ So he stayed put and continued his own version of confession.

            “I always remember the days when we’re always together. Especially the time when you kissed me. Twice.” Okay, that wasn’t all true. But, hey, this was his moment! “I was waiting for your call. And then I remembered, you don’t have my number.”

            “Excuse me.” Yoonseo piped in. Her face is so red and trying to hold in her anger. “Are you talking to my boyfriend?”

            “You’re his girlfriend? Official or nonofficial?”

            “You little–Hey, Junmyeon won’t get himself involved with someone as ugly as you! And he would not definitely kiss someone like you. You’re not his type.”

            Jongdae feels like he was slapped across the face. “ _You’re not his type._ ” That words echoed in his mind. _I’m not his type_. Is that why Junmyeon doesn’t show any interest on him? _Then why did he kiss me?_

            _“My dates kiss me all the time, for no particular reason.”_ Those were Junmyeon’s own words. Junmyeon would kiss a woman just for the heck of it. So, Junmyeon kissed him because… for no reason at all.

            Jongdae snatched the menu from Junmyeon and faced the woman. “Come on, girl. Junmyeon’s a player. It’s natural for him to kiss someone for no reason.” Jongdae tried to be tough. But on the inside, his heart is breaking into small pieces. “Get used to it.”

            And then he went to the bathroom. He’s ready to pour out all of the pain that he is feeling when his phone ringed. He wasn’t ready to answer it but he saw the name of the caller.

            “Hello, Mom.”

            “Jongdae, my darling baby boy! Your voice is really nice even on the phone. You really inherited Mommy’s beautiful voice, yes?”

            Jongdae’s tears stopped from falling down and he smiled. His mom always makes his day.

            “I’ll just finish my one-hour shift here in Emperor Café, Mom. Then I’ll treat you to lunch.”

            “No, honey. You don’t have to do that. We’ll just have our lunch here at our home. It’s been a while since we had lunch together with your hyungs and father. Be here before lunch, okay?”

            “Yes, Mom.”

            “Is there something wrong, honey?”

            “Why?”

            “You sound a bit…sad. Why? Did something happen to you? You lost in Blackjack?”

            Jongdae chuckled. “I don’t gamble, Mom.”

            “Well, you know–”

            Jongdae doesn’t hear his Mom’s words because he saw Junmyeon entered the bathroom and locked the door. He also doesn’t have time to question Junmyeon when he slammed him to the wall and kissed him hard. It was just a brief kiss but it sent his thoughts to haywire.

            “Sorry.” Junmyeon said but it doesn’t sound like he’s sorry at all. “I just had the urge to kiss you.”

            Jongdae gulped. His heart is beating wildly. “W-why–?”

            “No particular reason.” Junmyeon kissed him again. This time, it was more sweet, and slow. They were both huffing when he ended the kiss. “Get used to it, Jongdae.”

            _What?_


	9. Chapter 9

            “Jongdae, darling. I noticed that you seem to be a little off. Is there something wrong?”

            Jongdae just snuggled closer into his mom’s hug. His encounter with Junmyeon earlier in the Emperor Café was like a huge hurricane. He kissed him and then he just left with those irritating parting words. And his damn heart just takes it all. He was supposed to hate Junmyeon. Because Junmyeon just disregards Jongdae’s feelings. He kissed him then he went back to that woman’s arms. He tried to chase Junmyeon to confront him. But Junmyeon just left. Because it takes a while for Jongdae to calm down so he wasn’t able to go after him.

            And now, he carries his dilemma to their house.

            “Mommy, something happened to me earlier.”

            “What is it?”

            “Someone kissed me.”

            “That Junmyeon guy?”

            Jongdae looked at his mom. “You know Junmyeon?”

            “He kissed you again? It seems like that guy is getting a lot from our baby.”

            “How did you know Junmyeon? And how did you know that he has kissed me before?” Then it struck him. “Heechul hyung and Ryeowook hyung said it to you!? Aish! Those two rascals!”

            “So, he kissed you again?”

            Jongdae told everything to his mother. “But to him, everything was worthless, Mom. Because everytime he kisses me, he’s always saying ‘it’s nothing.’”

            “Do you believe that it’s really nothing?”

            Jongdae leaned into his seat. “What could be his other reason to kiss me other than I really kiss well?”

            “What else do you think?”

            Jongdae looked at his mom. “He… he likes me?”

            “Son, who can resist you? You’re adorable and good-looking like me. Okay, so now tell me why things got messy.”

            Jongdae hesitated to talk. He’s really uncomfortable talking about his feelings. He hated revealing himself. Because people might see a flaw and reject him. But this was his mom. The person who is always by his side, supporting him, and the one who is ready to have a run-in with lawyers and policemen just to protect him, even if he was the one who did something wrong.

            If he exposed his feelings now, his mom would be the last person who will criticize him. He hugged her.

            “I love him, Mommy. Maybe it’s the reason why I let him kiss me even if his reason was ‘it was nothing’. It’s my first time to feel like this. To forget who I am and how I grew up to be tough just because he’s in front of me. I become weak if I start talking about him. I can’t be tough when I’m in front of him, Mommy. He’s the only one who made me realize that it is okay to be weak. Because he’s always beside me to protect me.”

            “That monkey is really lucky.”

            “His name’s Junmyeon, Mom.”

            “Okay. And then?”

            “He’s the first guy who made me take notice of others. Because I was used to only see myself and all the things that I find useful. The rest, I just discard them. But in Junmyeon, I can’t help myself but to look at him even if I’m not in his line of sight.”

            “He’s not looking at you and you’re not in his line of sight? Maybe he’s cross-eyed, son. We just have to understand him.”

            “Mommy, he’s perfectly fine. And he has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.” Jongdae filled his mind with Junmyeon’s smiling eyes, sexy lips and handsome face. “He’s the most handsome man I have ever known. And you know, Mom, he patiently took care of me when I had my toothache. Even if I punched and slapped him, he stayed at my side.”

            “Really? That sounds nice.”

            “Yes, Mommy. Now, can you blame me if I’ve fallen in love with him?”

            His mom just laughed. “You know, darling, you can’t be wrong when you are loving someone. That’s why you should not regret everything. Let me just ask this, have you told everything to him?”

            “No. I don’t want to, Mom.”

            “Why not?”

            “What if he rejects me?”        

            “What if he accepts you?”

            Jongdae thinks for a while. _Mom’s right_. There was fifty percent chance Junmyeon liked him as well. But on the other hand, there was also a fifty percent chance that Junmyeon doesn’t feel anything for him. Jongdae hides his face on his mom’s shoulder.

            “Mommy, what should I do? I don’t like this kind of feeling. It’s not nice.”

            “Then do something about it.”

            “I told that myself. But what should I do?”

            “Well, first things first. Let’s eat because I’m so hungry. I can hear my stomach complaining.”

            Jongdae was left in the couch when his mom stood up. Then she approached him and caressed his hair.

            “Let’s talk about this with your dad and hyungs.”

            “They might laugh at me, Mom.”

            “I’ll stab them with a fork if they dared to show even a tooth while you are talking. But I’m sure we don’t have to resort to that. I’m sure they will listen to you. Let’s go–”

            “Mommy!”

            Ever the eternal mama’s boys, his hyungs wrestled their mom with hugs and kisses. And Jongdae was greeted by their dad who is probably with his hyungs earlier.

            “It seems like something has changed in you, Jongdae.” His dad said. “You’re not your usual self.”

            “Just a little problem, Dad.”

            “About what?”

            “Matters of the heart.” His mom answered for him. His Heechul and Ryeowook hyung is at her either side, clinging like a koala. “Our baby is all grown up.”

            “You’re in love?” Like his hyungs, their father possessed the ability to make anyone around them get addicted to his smile. “But why are you sad?”

            Jongdae just threw a look to his hyungs. They are just looking at him, waiting for his answer.

            “Yes, I’m in love. His name is Junmyeon. Maybe you already know about him because hyungs probably told you about him.”

            “I haven’t heard anything about him.” His dad said before turning to his mom.

            “I really chose not to tell you, Changwoo, dear. Because I know that our sons are already grown up and because their genes came from us, they can solve all their own problems.”

            “We can actually do that, Mom.” His Ryeowook hyung said. “It’s just Chen-chen who complicates things.”

            “His problem is just simple, to be honest.” His Heechul hyung said. “All he needs to do is say it.”

            “It’s not that simple! You two don’t experience how to fall in love that’s why you are just seeing things like that!” His hyungs became silent. _I knew it, these two never experience being in love_. “You think this is just a child’s play? That you can just fool around everytime?”

            “Did something happen?”

            “Ryeowook, Heechul.” His dad looked at his hyungs. “Did you do something to your dongsaeng?”

            “Nothing, Dad.”

            “Boys.” If their dad’s tone is like that, he’s sure that he is really serious. And his brothers, who had so much respect for their dad, couldn’t deny.

            “Dad, we can’t meddle even if we want to help Jongdae.”

            “We’re just manipulators, not spokespersons.”

            “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

            “You’re asking the wrong person, Chen-chen. You should talk to Junmyeon, not us.”

            Jongdae is really confused with the flow of their conversation. His dad starts doing something. He talked to someone in a phone for a while then turned to his hyungs.

            “I heard that Junmyeon guy is a member of the Exo Riding Club in Incheon.” His dad said. “Prepare our chopper. Bring that guy here.”

            “Dad, what will Junmyeon do here?”

            “I’ll just talk to him.” His dad even raised a hand. “I swear.”

            Jongdae doubts his father’s acts. His mom just laughed.      

            “Changwoo dear, those movements are just suitable for me to do.” She kissed his hyungs cheeks. “Go ahead, bring that guy here. I also want to talk to him.”

            His hyungs are ready to go when Jongdae made a decision. “Hyung, wait! I’ll go with you.”

            “Why?”

            “I’ll just talk to Junmyeon.”

            “You’re going to confess?”

            “Of course not. ‘ll just talk to him.”

            “So you’re really going to confess.”

            “I said I–”

            His hyungs put their arms around his shoulders while they are making their way outside the house. “Whatever happens, we still wish you the best, Chen-chen.”

            “And you can thank us later, too.”


	10. Chapter 10

           The moment the chopper landed at the helipad of the Exo Riding Club, Jongdae immediately goes to the car that is waiting for them. His brothers already called for someone to bring them to the club because the helipad was a bit far from the clubhouse. It is because the horses are very sensitive to noises that’s why the helipad is a bit far. Jongdae already left his brothers and rode on one of the two cars that is waiting for them.

            After a few minutes, Jongdae is tired of searching for Junmyeon. He went to Junmyeon’s house but he is not there. Then he also went to the stables but Junmyeon is also not there. Some of the staffs said that the match races have just finished so Junmyeon is probably in the private spa to relax with the other members. Jongdae easily found the said place because the said spa is the only spa facility in the riding club. The problem is, the Exo Spa and Lodge is divided into two. One for the guests of the club and the other one is exclusive for the members. That means Jongdae can’t enter the said establishment.

            But he is Kim Jongdae. And no one or nothing can stop him from doing something that he should have done a long time ago.

            He saw an employee of The Spa. Maybe she was having her break when she went out of the building. It was a bit difficult talking to the woman because she is loyal to her job. But when he said that he is Heechul and Ryeowook’s dongsaeng, her face lit up.

            “You are Kim Jongdae?”

            “You know me?”

            “Everyone is talking about you and sir Junmyeon in the past few days.”

            Jongdae’s eyes glittered when he heard the other man’s name. “Is Junmyeon inside? The one that I have asked in the stables earlier said that he might be here.”

            “Yes, sir. Sir Junmyeon is inside. He’s getting a massage together with the other members.”

            “Help me get inside, please. I need to talk to him.” Jongdae brought a few wons out. “I’ll just talk to him. Nothing more. I won’t make a scene. I love him. And I need to tell him that, before everything else gets complicated between us. Please?”

            The woman’s eyes were filled with tears. “You don’t need to pay me, Sir. I’ll help you. Because I prefer you having Sir Junmyeon than any other person out there.”

            “Thank you.”

            The woman looked around her. “Come with me, Sir.”

            After a moment, Jongdae is walking straight in the hallway of the spa. The woman gave him instructions on what room he will find Junmyeon. In the last room, west wing, Jongdae haphazardly opened the door. The mixed smell of aftershave cologne, men’s perfume and bath soap invaded his nose as well as the shocked expression of the men who are mostly just clad in towel who tried to cover their exposed body with their hands.

            “Where’s Junmyeon?” Jongdae demanded.

            “Jongdae.” Like the most of the men inside the room, Junmyeon is also just clad in a towel. “What are you doing here?”

            “We need to talk.”

            “Okay, just wait for me outside.”

            “No. We need to talk now.”

            “We can’t talk here.”

            “Then just listen to me.”

            Junmyeon eyed the half-naked men around them and then he pushed Jongdae out of the door. Then he blocked the door with his body after closing it.

            “Okay, I’m listening.”

            “Can you please wear a shirt?”

            “Nah, I’m fine.” Junmyeon crossed his arms.

            Jongdae can’t help but ogle at the nice proportions of Junmyeon’s body that he just noticed because of so much excitement to see him. Now Jongdae was speechless again. Not because he didn’t want to expose his feelings but because he just couldn’t help but admire everything about Junmyeon. But Jongdae doesn’t have any plans on keeping quiet. Now is his chance to tell everything and he won’t waste that opportunity. Even if Junmyeon’s body is distracting him.

            “Junmyeon, I want to tell you something. I mean a lot of things.”

            “Okay.”

            “Uh…” What was it again that he wants to tell Junmyeon? _Damn!_ He’s lost again. That’s why Jongdae brought out his last resort–a crumpled paper that he used in writing all of the things that he wants to say to Junmyeon. “I’m sorry to all of the things that I have said to you before. To all of the lies that I have said to you whenever you ask me about my personal feelings. I was just afraid to show other people how I feel, especially to the ones that are important to me because I know that they have the capability to hurt me. Especially you because I know that you can hurt me with just a word. I’m afraid of rejections. Junmyeon. So you’re right about me. I’m not that tough. I am just hiding myself from that touch façade because I am weak. But you are also the one who made me realize that it’s okay to be weak. Because I am just a human and every one of us have their own weakness.

            “I hate rejections. That’s why I refused to let you know my feelings for you. Because I have no idea what you feel about me. And because I am weak, my tendency is to hide myself. To lie. Until I become aware that I’m not just hurting myself but also I’m hurting the people around me.

            “Maybe you are wondering why I am talking now. It’s because I can’t lose you. I have seen you with many women before. And every time that happens, I want to grab each one of them and feed them to the crocodiles. I hated those women. Why are you always looking at them when I am the one that’s always with you?

            “And finally, I love the way you kissed me. I don’t care if you have reasons for it just as long as you kissed me. It was enough.” Jongdae folded the paper because he can’t read his handwriting anymore. “That’s all.”

            Jongdae looked at Junmyeon’s handsome face, waiting for his reaction. But he just stared at him for a while. And then Junmyeon took the paper and read the letter.

            “Why do you have to read it? I already told you what I want to say.” Junmyeon doesn’t react. “Don’t you have any reaction? Comments? Suggestions? Violent reactions?

            “Is this all of the things you want to say?”

            “Huh?”

            “If yes, then it’s not enough.”

            “Not enough?”

            Junmyeon crumpled the paper and just threw it somewhere. “I just want to know something, Jongdae.”

            “What is it?”

            “Do you like me?”

            “No.”

            Finally, Junmyeon’s face got some emotion. It’s not that nice because he is angry.

            “Then what’s with all this confession? It seems to me that you like me somehow. But you are still denying it. What are you really trying to imply, Jongdae?”

            “That I just don’t like you. I love you, Junmyeon.” Jongdae closed the distance between him and Junmyeon. “You made me notice you so deal with me.”

            Jongdae doesn’t wait for Junmyeon to talk because he grabbed his nape and kiss him fully on the lips. Junmyeon also wrapped his arms around him. He had welcomed Jongdae’s lips with his warm ones. And Jongdae could almost feel the intensity of Junmyeon’s kisses. His kisses are so deep, full of emotion that makes his heart sing.”

            Junmyeon had told him everything he was afraid to ask him. That he also feels something for him. That Junmyeon loves him too. Even if it is just an illusion, he could take it, just as long as he was with Junmyeon.

            “I love you, Jongdae.” Junmyeon said when their lips finally parted. “I thought you would never realize how you feel for me. I was about to give up because you don’t want to admit to your feelings. Yoonseo was my last resort. And nothing happened because you didn’t admit your feelings for me.”

            “Wait, what do you mean Yoonseo is your last resort?”

            “I asked her to pretend as my girlfriend to make you jealous so that you will admit your feelings for me.”

            “What?”

            “But you still didn’t say anything even if you are obviously jealous. I was frustrated so I followed you to the bathroom. Because of my frustrations to you, I set aside my deal with your hyungs. That I shouldn’t kiss you.”

            Jongdae is really confused with the flow of their conversation. “How did my hyungs get in the picture?”

            “Because at first, they were the ones who help me to make you fall in love with me. When I first saw you when Kai and Kyungsoo were clearing up things between them, you caught my attention. I just couldn’t get my eyes off you. You were so good-looking and smart and funny–”

            “And witty and cute and oozing with sex appeal.”

            “Yes, and those things. That’s why I can’t get away from you. But sadly, when I made a move on you, you turned me down. You even rejected my offer of friendship. So I thought I should stop. I mean, there’s still so many fish in the sea. But then you kissed me and all my plans dissolved.

            “But your hyungs talked to me. They told me that if I really like you, I should just let you in your own world because you will never look at me if you don’t want to. But I didn’t listen. That’s when I kissed you. Your hyungs almost tore me to pieces after that. They even made threats against me. But I didn’t listen.

            “I guess I loved you even before. And your hyungs must have noticed that that’s why they have helped me get your attention. They told me that whenever I come near you, I should ignore you showing interest in me so that you will be more curious and in the end, your attention will be on me. It’s a bit effective, isn’t it?”

            “Yes.” Jongdae doesn’t expect that Junmyeon will talk to his hyungs just to get him.

            Junmyeon caressed his hair. “I always think about you every night.”

            “Just in the night?”

            “Every moment. You didn’t know this but I almost got crazy every time you ignore my questions about your feelings for me.”

             “I thought playboys can’t fall in love.”

            “What do you mean? We love really deeply because that means we are ready to give up our freedom for someone we love.”

            “So, you’re admitting that you are a playboy?”

            “Yes. But I changed because of you.”

            Jongdae wants to scream. But he just smiled. “I have so many hang-ups in my life. I’m sorry things got complicated.”

            “It’s okay. It’s all worth it. And I didn’t regret suffering because of you. In a way, maybe it was my way of saying sorry to the people that I have hurt.” Junmyeon hugged him. “And it’s also my fault that things got complicated. I didn’t admit my feelings earlier than I should have.”

            “Why?”

            “Your hyungs told me that I should not confess unless you do it first. Or else, our hard work will be wasted. Because of your tendency to just ignore something when you lose your interest in it.”

            “So it’s really my hyungs’ fault, huh.”

            “In a way, yes. And I’m glad that I got their approval when I took care of you when you had your toothache.”

            “Yeah, about that. I want to thank you.”

            “I should be the one who’s thanking you. If you didn’t had that toothache, I wouldn’t get that close to you. Although, I’m not saying that I’m happy when you had that toothache. All I’m saying is that–”

            Jongdae grabbed Junmyeon’s nape for the second time and kissed him deeply. “Stop rambling, Junmyeon. It’s enough that you told me you love me.”

            Junmyeon tightened his arms around him. “Fine.”

            They were sharing their sweet kisses once again. Jongdae already forgot how many kisses did they have. What’s really important is that he got Junmyeon’s heart now.

            Someone knocked from the room.

            “Junmyeon, are you still not done there? Man, we want to go out.”

            “We’re going crazy here, guys.”

            “They said that there are ghosts here.”

            Junmyeon didn’t stop kissing him and just knocked back at them. “You are just imagining things! Just stay there for a while. We’re not done yet.”

            “Just marry Jongdae before you can finish whatever you want to finish there.”

            “I will.” Junmyeon rained tiny kisses on his face. “After we’re finished here.”

 


End file.
